hive drones cleaning away past promises’ husks
these bees collect words, clarifying honey
dip cautious thoughts into coral scented mead
bittersweet finger recognizes those marks
blame a tainted point in a cup of nectar
one cannot steer with safety past trust’s bruises
rapidly, covertly roses bud anew
just as suddenly balance ripples sweet scents
perspectives swivel pollen seasoning doubt
eloquent living requires bees and faith
stir the bouquet motionless delicacy
stifling strength now apiary purified
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now the “how come” . . .
The words came from The Sunday Whirl. I wanted to connect lines, even though I hope each stands alone. To do that I found a synonym for the original twelve words and used them in adjacent lines. The need for twelve words in twelve poemlets came from Pamela via We Write Poems Prompt 80. This was a lot of fun, but as usual, I probably made it more difficult than it needed to be. Still, I’d love to know what you think about each, all or any.
Shiteki Na Usagi 
thanks for sharing a little bit about your process on this one. there are some great juxtapositions in this, some powerful phrases/lines. I was caught especially by “trust’s bruises…”
suibhan,
Welcome. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on this piece. I tried to work in connections within and between lines. I like intricate but understandable poetry. I’m glad you liked it. Look forward to seeing you again.
Thanks for indulgence of Pattinson–and I really like the poem better without the italics. Can read it now as a whole.
I think word exercises are wonderful. They can force one out of habitual ruts and brain waves. K.
K,
No problem on the Pattinson issue. Be grateful I wasn’t blogging when I was in the full throws of Hugh Jackman mania. I still adore him, but don’t gush nearly as much or as nauseatingly (at least I hope not). I agree about the italics changing the poem. I like it better without too. I definitely agree with your opinion of the word exercises. They really helped me look at things line by line as well as overall continuity. They’ll be a go to for habit breaking. I really appreciate your comments. The subsequent reflection on my writing has helped me improve. Looking forward to what we share next.
I like the bittersweet tone of this – the sweetness tempered by past hurt. And I love the thought of roses budding “covertly.”
Kelly E.,
Welcome and thank you for reading and commenting. Bittersweet comes easily these days, unfortunately. And roses, isn’t that what they do? I was visiting my mother last month, and I helped her deadhead her flowers. It seemed there were new blossoms everyday where no bud had been the day before. I love that magic too. Thanks for visiting. Drop by any time.
This is so musical – especially that last line!
mareymercy,
Welcome back. Glad you took time to read and found the poem to your liking. I’m still uncertain about the last line myself, but your vote definitely counts.
This made me think of one of my favorite novels, Sue Monk Kidd’s, “The Secret Life of Bees.” Another wonderful metaphorical piece.
Victoria,
I am honored. I’ve heard many good things about that book but have yet to read it. I’ve decided to build a must read list for next year and work my way through it. I might just put that on there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me again.
These are my favorite words from this piece:
“these bees collect words, clarifying honey”
“trust’s bruises”
“eloquent living requires bees and faith”
“stir the bouquet motionless delicacy”
I see a bit of a connection between this and your telescope piece. 🙂
Shawna,
Welcome. Thank you for the read and the comment. Those are some of my favorite phrases too. Really? A connection to the telescope piece? Not thematically, at least not intentionally. They’re came from opposite emotional points, that’s certain. I’m curious now. Give it some thought and expound on that when you get the chance and/or inclination.
These were the words that made me think you were writing about defining and purifying a relationship, as you were in the telescope poem, whittling it down to an enduring friendship: “clarifying honey,” “covertly roses bud anew,” “balance ripples,” “perspectives swivel,” and the three closing lines. I’m interested to hear more about what you were thinking as you wrote, if you’d like to share. 🙂
Shawna,
I’d love to. I’ll get back with you shortly.
Ahh! I still haven’t checked my e-mail. I’m so sorry!!! I’ll get there soon. 🙂
Shawna,
No problem. I was just worried I’d sent it to the wrong person. That would be A W K W A R D.
Very nice response to the prompt…it worked quite effectively.
slpmartin,
Thank you again. Your comments and visits are always welcome.
Yousei, you have written a cohesive and flowing piece here. Very nicely done.
Pamela
Pamela,
Welcome and thank for taking the time to read and comment. I’m glad you felt it cohesive. That it had flow is even better. Hope you’ll stop by and share again whenever the winds take you.
I feel the energy of the hive! NIce!!
sandy,
Nice to have you buzz by again. You sense energy throughout this? Nice. I hadn’t focused on that, so that’s a bonus. Sometimes I suspect the best aspects of my writing come from the unplanned. Depressing. Seriously, I’m headed over to your place for a gander and a smile.
sandy,
Wait! No more garden path? You do have another blog, right? Please say yes. My memory is failing this morning. I couldn’t even remember the name of “Best Buy.” Leave me a link to your other one if I’m not already following. (I’m truly pathetic today.)
Well done, these poemlets, love that they stand alone and are connected too.
My favourite of all is “these bees collect words, clarifying honey”
Ruth,
Welcome and thank you. I like that line as well. I tried to give them all unified independence. Glad you thought it worked. Your observations are helpful and welcome.
I love the metaphor of poets making poems to bees making honey. I have frequently related poetry to tea making, steeping and pouring.
colleen,
Welcome and thank you for your comments. I tried to carry that throughout the piece, but it felt like I got sidetracked somewhere. I can definitely see poetry’s kinship to making tea. I do believe the average steeping time is longer for poetry though. Good heavens, I couldn’t drink the tea I steeped as long as this poem. Come by and brew with me any time.
This is incredibly lovely! The lines have a smooth coherence and flow… just like honey. The strong first line opens this with a “wow.” I loved: hive drones cleaning away past promises’ husks
nan,
Welcome. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your comments. I’m glad you liked the first line. An important place to start, right? Without the use of required words, I suspect I would have taken quite a different turn in the writing. Still, I’m pleased with the overall piece. Very glad you enjoyed it. Hope to see you again.
I love that first line, and I really enjoy the string of imagery that laces all of these lines together. Also the sense of a slow, continuous motion of bees that gives life to the poem. Thanks, Yousei!
Mabel Lee,
🙂 Welcome back and thank you. Your comment reminded me that in the spring, I see bees everywhere. They’re not generally in a rush, just going about their business of making the first honey of their year. Glad I could share this with you.
Oh, a sweet as honey poem. I like the idea of bees and faith, a lot. And that you’re thinking about writing!
irene,
Welcome, my friend. Glad you found it to your taste. I like that bee-faith line too. I’ve been think a lot about writing. Your own journey has inspired me (as well as others). Looking forward to what we both create from here.
Hi Yousei, this is a cool exercise though I’d like to read it without the italics. (I’m very literal.) There are some wonderful images here–the whole idea of the bees–the past promises’ husks, the line “one cannot steer with safety through trust’s bruises.” This is lovely. Thanks. K.
manicddaily,
Done and done. Glad you liked it. I’ve got favorites (and not favorites) among them, but overall it was a good exercise.