Trying a New Poetry Form

Victoria Slotto offered a new challenge at dVerse–the Tilus.  It is a form described as:

Tilus [tee-loo-hz] is a form created by Kelvin S.M. and falls under the category of micro poetry. The form is divided into two parts: the first part is composed of two lines following a 6-3 syllable count; the second part, a one-syllable word to close and/or complete the subject layered in the first part. The whole piece must, only, contain 10 in overall syllable count. The main focus of Tilus is on the world of Nature, and how it can open a new door to a wider understanding of life and beyond. The form aims to be epic in emotions expressed, more importantly, than to be epic in words.

 

So close to the haiku form, it was irresistible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

into this summer sun
face upturned
blind

walking further from shore
crashing waves
fade

thunderstorms where you are
through the phone
whispers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dVerse — Meeting the Bar

 

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Interesting Blogs, Poetry, Prompts, Tilus and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Trying a New Poetry Form

  1. Love this new form and gave it a try. Yours is so beautiful. Thank you. I will keep trying.

    Melanie
    bd

  2. kelvin s.m. says:

    I like that your tilus told different sides of the world—one that has summer heat while the other on a rage of coming storm. You’ve made an unexpected turn that I greatly like as i love surprises. Thank you so much for trying your hand at Tilus & giving us an exquisite result.

    P.S. i have missed this at the dverse, my apology.

    smiles.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      kelvin s.m.,
      Quite happy to offer these and very pleased you liked them. Thank you for visiting and leaving your thoughts on my attempts. May we meet and Tilus again soon.

  3. jruthkelly says:

    Oh my! Must try! 🙂 Thanks for posting… still so love your blog and appreciate your presence.

  4. Pingback: Tilus – A new poetry form | Bastet and Sekhmet's Library

  5. biggerthanalasagna says:

    I like your collection here, but the last one was my favorite. I can hear the thunder through the phone. It is such a distant image.

  6. billgncs says:

    this form fits the poetic rabbit very well – nice.

  7. Gabriella says:

    I enjoyed your tiluses. I think the second one is my favorite.

  8. Sumana Roy says:

    love them all…i feel fading waves and whispering thunders have many stories to tell…

  9. like all three very much – but the whispers on the phone – that is just wonderful! K

  10. slpmartin says:

    Like what you did with this poetry style.

  11. Grace says:

    I like the seeming contrasts in each tilus but particularly the last one ~ Thunderstorms & whispers through the phone, I like ~

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Grace,
      Yay. Glad someone liked that one. I actually like that one best as well. I think it tells a story, yet a different story depending on what one brings to it. Thank you for letting me share it with you.

  12. I spent a lot of time in the ocean when I was young–growing up in California. The second one sparked a nice memory for me. All are lovely and it’s good to “see” you–it’s been a while!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Victoria,
      I suspect my sister, also a beach lover, would like the ocean verse best. Thank you for reading and commenting. It has been a while. I’ll try to keep the times in-between much shorter.

  13. Oh that second one 🙂 I can see a haji poet in your verse

  14. claudia says:

    ah i’m glad you couldn’t resist….thunderstorms, waves and sun… hmmm nice.. enjoyed all three of them… just sat in the garden a bit, turning my face sunward – it wasn’t so warm though but it felt so good

    • Yousei Hime says:

      claudia,
      Thank you for reading. It is a bit warmer here. I sat in the sun for a bit waiting for my ride. The breeze here makes that feel so nice. Can’t sit too long though. I’ll add to the freckle count and walk away with sunburn. 😉

  15. brian miller says:

    as long as you re-appear after disappearing under those waves you are good…
    ha. def dont look at the sun too long…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brian,
      Oops, I really didn’t intend it in that direction from the shore. Just shows you how readers can open one’s eyes to new possibilities. I’m definitely staying on the shore.

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