Well, I didn’t know her well enough to like or dislike her anyway. She seemed kind of lazy. It’s not like we were close. We just worked at the same place. She wasn’t all that, though she tried to make you think she was. Not much to her, really. I think she went to my church. Didn’t she have two kids. I heard she divorced. That says something, doesn’t it. Never did much with her life. My son knew her boys, and they didn’t stay in touch with her. I heard she let them do whatever they wanted. Wasn’t much of a mother either, huh? What did she do? Teacher? I never knew that. Didn’t she write too or something? I never read any of it, but I know someone who did and they didn’t remember much about it. She talked about going back to school. She talked about traveling. She talked about a lot of things, but I don’t think any of it ever happened. No, she never did much with her life, did she.
from one willow a mourning dove
for mindlovemisery Prompt 2: Fear
- Fear – Nothing Now But You (helenvalentina.com)
Oooh, this is sad, and compelling. Well done.
Thank you. I read it last night at a poetry slam. Felt good to say the words out loud. Needs revision though. 😉 Happy to see you back.
Wow. Love it. Love the way the prose flows into the last two lines and I can read into this as a sort of an imaginary audience/imaginary paranoid dialogue. Love!
Thank you. It was an experiment, and I enjoyed the result too. Thank you for your visit and comment.
Everyone is too quick to judge. We can’t stop ourselves here in the UK. It’s the easy way out. your post moved me. Tom
I think being judgmental is part of human nature, perhaps learned, but a part nonetheless. It is one of the things I hate most about myself. Thank you for stopping in to read. I appreciate what you shared, and I really enjoy visiting your site with all it’s great photos. Love the puffin in today’s post. How wonderful that you are able to travel (and especially with your family) to so many places. Thank you for sharing as you do.
The 3rd prompt is up now =)
Thank you. I’ll have to pass this time (unless the traffic clears before next Sunday).
I understand you will be missed =)
Beautifully written. I will not forget this piece; a humbling reminder of our own blindness to the soul and path of others.
Do unto others, right? Thank you for stopping by to read. 🙂
Oh my gosh, what a brilliant “point of view.” You’re writing about yourself from the perspective of others, describing your worst fears about what they might think/say about you.
Who is the willow, and who is the mourning dove? The point is that we all are both. So why do we judge and wonder about others’ faults? We are all in mourning for one reason or another. We all hang our heads, fly despite our sadness, and die to the moon each night only to die to ourselves each day. Pain should not be cast on others, nor ourselves. Soft embrace and speechless talk. Those are what we need.
turquoise is my talisman,
Good, very good questions and thoughts. Just what I would hope for in my readers and myself.
turquiose is my talisman,
Got it in one. 😉
You deal with the subject in a respectful and subtle way but the underlying fear is clear as there is a sense of tension that runs through the piece. Makes the reader want to see the speaker and the gestures
Have missed you hope all is well
Thank you for your observations. They are spot on. I’ve been too busy to write but found a bit of time in the last few days. I’ll visit you soon. 🙂
The last two lines contained the fascinating quality of intrigue for me ! Left my curiosity piqued !
I’ll take that as a good thing. Thank you for visiting and reading.
Yes, I indeed meant it as a good thing !!
It is sad that we judge others (especially those we do not really know) in life and more so in death – but that is what we humans do – we set our own stands of what is acceptable and what is not and in doing so, set ourselves apart.
I guess the fear is that when our lives come to an end – we wonder how we will be judged…
You understood it perfectly. So glad you read and shared your thoughts.
You really set the scene here and carried it through. Yes, chilling indeed, as others have said.
Thank you. Such a broad prompt can make things challenging or freeing. Thank you for visiting and reading.
Intriging, this phone chat?….the beauty is in the two lines that end this. That was a world away!
It could be a phone chat. I had several images run through my mind as I wrote–workplace, graveside, neighborhood park, store, church, etc. I think ultimately I wanted to indicate that the person died and was buried without mourning and without being understood. I do think I got some of that, but perhaps not as delicately and still clearly as I’d hoped. Still quite happy with it, especially the closing haiku. Happy to share it with you and to read your thoughts.
Chilling … the doom of the dead.. reminds me of Hávamal:
you yourself die;
I know one thing
which never dies:
the fate of the honored dead.
I love the form.
Björn Rudberg (brudberg),
I think you are the first to identify the subject of the conversation as dead. That, I think, deepens the fear for me. Thank you very much for sharing the Hávamal translation. I’m not familiar with the writer, and in sharing you’ve given me a new poet to investigate. If my writing which seems to be the other side of the coin to the poem you shared, if my poem reminded you of Hávamal, then I am delighted. Thank you for reading and sharing so richly.
Havamal is a collection of old Viking poetry and words of wisdom. This one is probably the most important, and it really does not mean that the subject is dead (I think the English translation is a little bit misleading),
The meaning that I wanted to give was that how people are judged never dies (even if they die), And judgment are passed by every one, and it often just grows. This judgement lives as long as are alive, but it never dies….
Sorry for the confusion, but this is a citation I grew up with, and of course it means I should do my best as long as I live, but in the end it might not matter.
Björn Rudberg (brudberg),
Not a problem. I think I created confusion on my side as well. I meant to say that you thought the subject in my poem was dead, not in Havamal. I appreciate the clarification on the translation though. I felt some of that when I read it, but your explanation revealed it clearly. These ideas march along with the thoughts I had while writing this poem. “Do my best as long as I live”–exactly! I fear my inner critic more than the voices around me. If I am displeased with my own life, I have only myself to blame, right? Again, thank you for sharing.
Completely frightening if one were “her” or fearing to be. Well-played. K.
Exactly the fear I was painting. Thank you for reading and sharing your keen eye.
I wonder what “she” wrote about those others…..
Excellent question! I suspect she is little better than they are. As I wrote this, I sifted through catty, gossipy conversations I’ve heard (fictional and unfortunately otherwise) and fit them to a single entity. Don’t the things we criticize in others often reflect what we fear/loathe in ourselves? Thank you very much for reading and asking the right question.
Wow, this is chilling. Well done.
Your comment hints that you share a bit of the fear I was trying to capture with this writing. I seem to worry more about this now than I ever did in younger years. Thank you for reading and commenting.
This is wonderful! My god I relate to this my social anxiety has certainly held me back in some areas, oddly not with love because then I am fearless lol
Welcome back. Happy you liked the piece. May you always be fearless in love and so very little scarred by it. 🙂
Love those last two lines.
The whole thing just comes together in the most brilliant way.
The last two lines really do shift the scene, don’t they? I like them too. 🙂 Thank you for stopping in and letting me share them with you.
I so enjoyed this piece!
Thank you. I appreciate your visit and comment.
Oh, this reads like so many conversations I’ve heard…those who do not know…passing judgement on another…brilliant write.
Just so. The prompt was to write about fear. What if all that was said was negative, true or not? Thank you for letting me share the writing with you.
wow…i think what was as disturbing as anything is the knowing so much about her…and how too things just seem to fall into place once we know things of people…things we could have seen but did not…for some reason…cool form too…the break out verse in the end adding to the mystery all the more…
The prompt was to write about fear in some capacity. If you found this writing disturbing, then I’m on target. I appreciate your comment. It is interesting , especially with this writing, to see how subtly varied the responses/readings of the piece are. Happy you came by to read.