Letting Go At Dusk

Reflecting on the setting sun

Reflecting on the setting sun (Photo credit: .craig)

 

Now’s the best time for lettin’ go.
–she said as I sat down beside her.
Like the twilight doves, I heard her before I saw her.

Just like the sun’s lettin’ go of it’s light, you gotta
soak those blindin’ things in coolin’ dark.  Give ’em time.  It’s important, and people forget it.
–her cigarette smoke blurred the wrinkles around her mouth.

Brewing and stewing, anger and worryin’.  They foul up ya peace and rob ya of sleep.   Can’t see nothin’ clearly without those troublemakers about.
–cigarette gone, her hands stone-stilled in her empty lap.

Time enough when the sun comes up to pick ’em up again.  Might find ya don’t need ’em at all.  Might need a few.  Probably not.  Might even be gone.
–she became the night, a sensible voice with contradicting light.

In the walk home, I could recall no face, only cooing echoes of her words, swirls of smokey darkness, and unburdened hands at rest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some odd thoughts on letting go, inspired by dVerse Poetics.

Happy Note–Joseph Harker at naming constellations has graciously agreed to critique one of my poems for his Refinery.  Please do visit, read and participate.  He is currently accepting submissions for critique.

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Interesting Blogs, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

55 Responses to Letting Go At Dusk

  1. ladynyo says:

    These are lovely, deep and all very different from your usual writing….love them both.. Realism at it’s best.

    Lady Nyo

  2. ManicDdaily says:

    Hey Yousei – hope all is well! k.

  3. Luke Prater says:

    What you really master is the vignette – and here are a succession of them. Stencilled portraits/clear poetic outlines of your subject. Like this v much

  4. Archna says:

    Beautiful. Such magical movement in this piece. Love the thought of wisdom in unfamiliar places and the abundance that night brings to us. Really glad that I stopped in for this one.

    Thank you for your visit recently, I’m not able to blog nor visit friends too much these days so I do appreciate you dropping by. 🙂

  5. been having trouble with the “like” button on my computer, but really enjoyed this, esp,
    “Like the twilight doves, I heard her before I saw her” –
    ending with,
    “unburdened hands at rest”
    thanks so much, best wishes 😉

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Felipe Adan Lerma,
      I noticed others “Like” buttons have disappeared. No worries. I appreciate the comment and observations. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece. Look forward to your next visit.

  6. Geoff says:

    ‘swirls of smokey darkness’ 🙂 … beautifully evocative work 🙂

  7. Summer says:

    Hallo,
    This is for you, for being kind to others and me : )
    Pick it up here if you want to http://summer4soul.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/valentines-day-this-is-for-you-because-you-are-love/

    Sweet greetings, Summer

  8. lucychili says:

    you capture her character well, yes she sounds wise =)

  9. Stan Ski says:

    sounds like the kind of woman you just have to listen to….!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Stan,
      Definitely. I suspect one would keep silent from surprise and then captivation. I’m not sure she lets anyone go, even after they walk away. 😉 Thank you for stopping in and reading the tale.

  10. Enjoyed reading this one. Makes me thing of my wife’s grandmother who always had bits if wisdom for us and a cigaret in her hand. (and cookies). Thanks for sharing.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Ken,
      I am a sucker for cookies. It’s always special when we read something that brings a loved one to mind. Though she didn’t arise from a single person, she is still all the special bits of many people in my life. Thank you for sharing your wise woman with me.

  11. This poem swirled and danced like the smoke, filling my thoughts with an atmospheric wisdom. I breathed it in and was changed from the inside.

  12. Oh, I love this serendipitous encounter with an old wise woman! Beautiful.

  13. Alex Dissing says:

    What a wise woman. I really enjoyed this. This is my first time reading your work; I’ll be back.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Alex,
      Thank you for your visit and comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the piece, and I look forward to your next visit. I really loved your piece as well. I understand a tiny bit of denying one’s self for years. I’m so happy they have you to love, accept and appreciate them.

  14. Raven says:

    Yousei, you have done this beautifully. Not many have the ability to speak in another’s vernacular and pull it off. It comes across true, good, solid. Just like I was sitting next to her.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Raven,
      She had to speak that way for me. It’s how I hear things, I guess. Roots showing. Bits and pieces of her reflect someone for all of us. One of the delights of writing, right? So happy you came by. 🙂

  15. kelly says:

    I love the timeless quality to this…. Lessons passed down, lessons learned. Very poignant.

  16. I like the conversations, weaving with the poet’s reflections ~ The lines specially resonated with me:

    Just like the sun’s lettin’ go of it’s light, you gotta
    soak those blindin’ things in coolin’ dark.

  17. ayala says:

    Great wisdom here, nice 🙂

  18. I love the intrigue, hearing her first like mourning doves. Wise conscience.

  19. brian miller says:

    dang it would be her words that resonated with me as well..some cool wisdom you gleened in her works….and i like how you set this up….little images between the dialogue to let us digest but also experience it…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brian,
      You’re part of this reason for this scene, fellow. I love the conversations in your writing, and once I noticed this woman, poetic conversation was unavoidable. I appreciate your observations on the structure too. I’m still learning how to balance my tastes to what works for readers. Have a peaceful evening, my friend.

  20. Tony says:

    “MIght find ya don’t need ’em at all.”

    There’s so much we cling on to that we can easily do without – even that we might be better off without. I loved this. Even without the picture I can picture this old woman sharing the wisdom of her years with those who have enough sense to listen.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Tony,
      I debated about including a picture. I saw her so clearly in my mind as I wrote, I just wanted to be sure others could see her beauty too. Thank you for reading and for your words. Congrats on your first turn at the bar.

  21. janehewey says:

    Your sharp imagery is enhanced by the two voices alternating. Enjoyed this much.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      janehewey,
      Welcome and thank you for your words. It needed two voices, at least for me it did. That way I could begin to see more sides of myself. Thank you again for reading.

  22. claudia says:

    oh wow…i like it much yousei…the interaction of her and the narrator…very well done…great atmospheric piece and you had me right there in the scene

  23. I can nearly smell the cigarette smoke here, Poetic Rabbit. So many folks relax when smoking. Interesting poem about sharing something so fleeting.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      47whitebuffalo,
      I’m not a smoker, but I do understand how rituals help us release. I think about Japanese calligraphers, preparing their ink. The whole process is part of meditation, zen. I’m so glad you liked the poem. Thanks for your visits and words.

  24. ManicDdaily says:

    Love the idea of soaking those blinding things. Very well put, and your walk home very vivid. k.

  25. slpmartin says:

    This is very special….really found it quite enchanting.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      slpmartin,
      This women reminded me of Aunt Bea while I was writing (no cigarette, of course). How many voices of wisdom do we walk by every day? I’m so happy you came by and read this one.

  26. aloha Poetic Rabbit. wow. poetic. and so well written. thoughts. memories. beauty. letting go. and gathering—life. this is walking in beauty. . . .

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