I will finish Rick Daddario’s 30 Days of Haiga, though quite late. I’ve enjoyed the creativity so much. Today’s make-ups are September 14–A Band of Stars, September 15–Dog Days, and September 16–Thunder Day. I also wove in a few words from flipside record’s Prompt Words (15).
barefoot gaze on heaven’s river
Tears of St. Lawrence
this dream I am still
in your arms
- September: 16 of 30 Days of Haiga ~ Relentless Waterfall (19planets.wordpress.com)
- Dragonfly Flits (haiku365.wordpress.com)
- September: 1 and 2 of 30 Days of Haiga (tasmith1122.wordpress.com)
Lookin’ for some new poetry.. but these are excellent… the first two lines of the final I love –
narrow-lipped shiver >> yes!
Thanks for dropping by and commenting on the new spot… sadly I had to delete and sart over (again) so I lost those comments etc… I’m up and running again. I’d be interested to know if your email subscription still works cos it’s still the same URL/domain name, and still wordpress subscription? Did you get notified recently of new posts?
Hope no new poetry here means you’re living too much of a wonderful life offline to have time for blogging!
Thank you for the well-wishes. I’ve enjoyed my visits to your new spot. Some very nice poetry going on there. Subscription is still working, I’m happy to report. No new poetry . . . is in part because of fun off-line, but mainly I’ve gotten out of the habit because my laptop at home needs work. I’ll try to do some writing over our Thanksgiving holiday. Best wishes to you.
These are so cool! I’ve seen them before but just like.k.
😀 Happy you took another look.
These are awesome!
If you glanced at the comments, you can tell I have mixed feelings about them. I do like all the graphics. It is the writing that I want to fix. Glad you enjoyed them. 🙂
Hey my friend – thanks for the warning re: malware – yes my site in infected, I’m so sorry if your PC got infected – I recommend you scan it thoroughly since you came and commented on my site. I’m gonna offline it and sort it out. Thanks and sorry again xx
No worries. I was stopped at the email level on my PC (never made it to your webpage), so I switched to my phone to access your site and leave the message. Shouldn’t have had any problems, but I’ll check it out to make sure.. Good luck with clearing things up on your site and PC. Keep writing anyway. 🙂
Love this form!
Me too. 😀
Hi Yousei, I really like these images and words. You’re doing double duty having to come up with both the poem and the image to go with it. I really like the one with the dog.
Thank you. The dog haiga seems to be the overall favorite, but that makes sense. It really is the best haiga out of the trio, makes the most sense anyway. 😉 I appreciate you coming by for a visit and read.
Did you see the poems I wrote with your word list? I think I spread them across two or three poems, mixing them with other lists. Check them out when you get a chance. Also, I posted a new word list; hope you’ll have time to play this week. Hugs, sweet sister. 🙂
I know I saw one. I’ll go panning for gold tomorrow, word list and poems with my words in them. Hugs back, dear one.
super cool/pretty and great visuals. i love shiver from awning, but all of the others too. k.
Thank you. “Shiver” is such a great word. Happy you could stop in.
Oh my word, these are dripping with pain. That first image is really quite amazing. I also love the sketch of the umbrella-ed girl walking down the trail to her next heartbreak.
This helps me to understand haiga better. Your words do not refer to the image, but the message from each comes together to form a whole. So the dog and pool represent a home and all the “extras” that go with that—the comfort, pleasure, embrace, warmth, etc. Also, he is getting out of the pool. But you are overheated and dizzy, wanting to jump back in perhaps. Overwhelmed, dehydrated, sweating, in pain.
I see “narrow-lipped shiver” as a pair of quivering lips that cannot process such great sorrow. “Next goodbye” might also mean “Next, goodbye” (next comes goodbye).
“This dream, I am still.” I am still yours. I am still (unmoving, frozen). I am still (I still exist; who am I without you?).
Does the first poem refer to the memory of an engagement proposal? I’ve loved reading these three together, telling one story of deepest loss. A band of stars indeed. I’m so sorry, sweetie.
As always, I love what you see in my writing. You’ve got sharp vision, girl. None of these refer to a specific memory, except a bit of the first (which no one could possibly have figured out from those coded phrases I so unwisely chose). They all just came from feelings and thoughts I’ve had over the last few weeks. Happy to share them with you because you make me smile through the sadness. Dreaming of dancing on the riverwalk. 😉
The club has three dance floors, I believe. One for ’70s music, one for ’80s, and one for what used to be ’90s but is probably now just “current.” I haven’t been in over a decade. In fact, maybe it’s completely different now. Which decade would you favor? I always wanted ’70s or ’90s, but my girlfriend made us spend almost all our time in the ’80s.
Not sure where I’d end up. I’m more of a song-by-song person than an era person. I suppose the 70’s might have the strongest overall appeal–my growing up years. I’m laughing at the thought of being stuck in the eighties. Wouldn’t want that, even though some years weren’t bad. 😉
aloha Yousei – very cool on all of these. the images are especially creative – and i like the link-ups with your ku.
i’m not sure i understand your sense of ku yet. given that i may not be correct in my own that is not something to greatly worry about (imo). just keep at your ku.
tell me tho. what makes your ku, ku rather than something else? rather than three distinct lines of poetry for instance?
i admit i am intrigued by the first 2-liner. “heaven’s river” – that image looks wedding-ring-like. so “heaven’s river” maybe that is the name of the stone. and the St. Lawrence – i know that as a river but it may be a saint too – i am not so familiar with that saint however so i’m not sure if this might be the saint of matrimony?? a barefoot gaze might mean once we strip away the ceremony and ritual, the social context and community acceptance of marriage – what are we down to between two beings? and is this what brings tears to the Saint? is that the essence of this as ku?
the second seems to follow up this breaking up of a relationship. the photo supports that (imo) with the splitting of the image. the image seems to be one of domesticity and home. “heart mirage” is more of a concept i think than something i can observe (i would like something i can observe that speaks of this concept in a ku). i (personal preference here) prefer a more concrete thing i can see/observe (most of the time) so i can draw my own conclusions about the image. still a heart mirage – might be about what we want. or about what we dont have. or about what we have lost. the following 2-line phase would indicate to me that the “heart mirage” is about what we no longer have. my “dream” (or “this dream” but from the speaker’s point of view it is “my”) to me this dream is concrete enough. and “in my arms” that too is concrete (imo).
the 3rd haiga – is that your Zen Brush App work? that is an awesome image (i know the background as a Zen Brush App paper). the figure – the “black ink” – or maybe more accurately, the “digital ink” which is black – is outstanding. simple. elegant. beautiful (imo). heck, i can almost see that parasol spin. i can look at and study the way that drawing is done for a long time. and then appreciate what it is (represents) after that – and before that too. – the ku, altho there is something there, for me somehow i want two of the lines to become more obviously related by a connection. right now each line feels more like it is a separate line on it’s own. the reason i’d like two lines to be connected more clearly is that haiku is a comparison devise (or at least that’s how it seems to me – often). i think it’s easy to compare one thing to another one thing. – by that i mean it’s easier to draw a comparison between any two things. when there are three things it’s harder to know how to compare between which two things. i hope that makes sense.
as poetry – three separate lines is fine. haiku is not poetry in that sense tho (imo). imo, this is one of the things that distinguishes haiku from other forms of poetry. haiku sets up a comparison between 2 things.
very cool on exploring these and linking them up. there is no time element to doing this as far as i’m concerned. so you are not behind. and do not need to feel rushed. or a need to “catch-up”. just do what appeals to you. cool on that.
thank you for this. thank you too for allowing me to think out my thoughts on haiku and haiga here. that helps me a lot. i hope it helps you (and others ) as well. clarity is another of those significant elements related to haiku (imo). and this keyboard rambling is one of my ways to help me clarify my own thinking about my ku and haiga – however it may not be relevant to yours. if you are clear on yours and i am off – simply disregard what i say. that is always cool. and of course… haiga on. aloha.
You’re not alone; I don’t think I have a sense of my ku either. 😉 I’m not sure my ku is different in many instances than three lines of poetry, and for me, it fails when it doesn’t stand apart.
As to the first one, it really is a fail. I love it, but it’s really no ku. Heaven’s river refers to the Milky Way. That seemed to fit better with the idea of standing barefoot gazing at the stars. The tears of St. Lawrence refer to the Perseids meteor showers. So simply put, the writing is entirely to cryptic to work. I could probably work it into a tanka much more smoothly. I did want to try and reflect the band of stars (Milky Way) with the image of the wedding band, but of course, the reference was lost on every reader so far.
The second is a problem with the font. It is “heat” mirage, not “heart” mirage. Maybe that makes enough difference to explain some of your questions. I do try, in most ku writings to keep with the natural/kigo reference (though I often fail at that as well).
For the third, thank you very much. 😀 I love that drawing to (and yes, it’s the zen brush app). I happen to agree with you that that ku needs change. I’ll fiddle with it, but the short explanation is I was trying to work in too many of Shawna’s words. Not a great idea for haiku. I think I can write a better haiku with different words, yet still capture the essence of the scene I wanted. Thank you so much for rambling. It always gets me thinking, echoes a lot of my own doubts, and encourages me beyond the same misgivings.
I’ll do better on the next batch, rabbit’s promise.
poem and art works are both great!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga
Thank you. 😀
It’s ok to have some similarities 🙂 I like the meaning that you have here, and the choice of words – barefoot gaze. May I suggest that you change the font? I don’t know if it’s just me. I have a hard time reading it, especially the word “barefoot.”
All of these are good, but my favorite is the 2nd one. I love the haiku and what you did with the photo. Very creative!
Thanks. I’ll try to remember to change the font. Sorry that it’s hard to read. I don’t really like that when reading others’ myself. I really appreciate you coming by to read. Glad you could find one you like. The second seems to be a favorite overall. Thanks again for coming by and sharing with me.
Although each poem was good, the last in the series was my favorite.
Always happy when you come by. I like that one best too, so your choice makes me smile. Thank you.
I love the graphic design of the second haiga and the artistry of the third. Beautiful haiku.
Thank you. I’ve had fun experimenting with iPad apps to see what I can create. The third is my favorite. 😉 Thank you for visiting, reading and commenting.