Truth Poetry with Prompt Words (14)

Manifestation

in the crowded
dorm tv room
three shadows cast
blocking escape
into the cacophony
hounds on the hunt
one brings my eyes to bay
pinpricks my heart
with a soundless question
invitation to forever

Mate

before the ring
organ vibrations
sympathetic throbbing
relinquishing self completely
to echo
other          other          other
a chord struck
resolved
unison
after the ring

Matronymic

two appellations
both joy
ripeness grown
from a darkroom
first cut smiles
second cut screaming
partition names
circling the edges
of appreciation
always just deficient
now loneliness
in remembering birth
and birth again
raising, rearing, readying
still without becoming
mother

Mutation

after the call
I’m looking
for a sweatshirt
that hides quivering
and announces
marriage should come with warning labels
lifetime commitments
transcend rose colors
whirling sentimental moments
they demand cast iron
expectation heavy bauble
bracelets chained
with oversharpening
backward dialogue
they prove that
perfect unison
will only ring from
a hollowed-out phantom
bereft of dreams
and will to pursue them

Using words from flipside records and trying to capture truths in poetry for Margo Roby’s Tuesday Tryouts.

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Interesting Blogs, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Truth Poetry with Prompt Words (14)

  1. Irene says:

    Interesting thoughts on marriage. Not sure I follow the thread in the comments, but seems some big change. I hope you find affirmation in all the right places. I’m totally out of poeming. Ok I lie. But time & energy aren’t on my side now that I report to an office. Power to you, girl.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Irene,
      Thanks for visiting and commenting. I have been visiting, but I haven’t commented much and have written even less than that. Changes are headed down from the north, but like the weather, I’m not sure when they’ll arrive. I’m grateful for my family and friends (including blog friends). I know what you mean about poeming. My writing just keeps getting pushed aside for now, and my work is part of the problem too. I find when I get home, I’m just too tired to consider writing. I better make a plan for scheduling it in, for I know I don’t want to give it up. See you at your place. 🙂

      • Irene says:

        The tired-after-work bit gives me a sense of deja vu. I’ve been there. Wait, I’m still stuck there. But I don’t plan to stop writing. You don’t stop either. Be fearless about it. Work is challenging for me right now. More precisely, the people at work are.

        Thanks for the note. It lifted my mood to be connecting with a blog friend. 🙂 Hope too your changes will be … good somehow.

  2. Luke Prater says:

    ‘Mate’ struck me particularly – the rep. and formatting if it in L6 is v effective. Tough one, writing for two prompts simultaneously! Well done

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Luke,
      Mate works quite well for me as the title–especially since it refers to friendship, sex and marriage . . . something present at the same time at that memory point. I like that 6th line as well. It’s not too often that I go back and read and still like something. We’re our own toughest critics, right? So glad you came by for a read. I appreciate your insight and your visits. I really enjoyed your last poem. I meant to go back later and leave a comment, but business is merciless these days. I think your line breaks in the origami are exquisite. Just like precise folds in paper, they call attention to words that cast shadows and allow light, shifts of meaning. I like it that I can’t quite pin down what it means. I actually think it changes depending on how I feel and my mindset the day I read it. Good write. 🙂

  3. Kris Kennedy says:

    wow…very powerful movement…I also found it interesting to follow your comments – in some way reading those made your words even more powerful…very cool!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Kris,
      Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. I’m glad you found power in the writing. I suppose I both like and dislike the fact that comments enlighten meaning. Writing should stand on its own, don’t you think? Yet I know that I often write to close to my own thinking and stories. That’s what revision is for. 😉 Thanks for the opportunity to share these with you.

      • Kris Kennedy says:

        I think your poetry does very much stand on its own…your comments aside, give a window to your life in a different way – given what you shared with others, I feel like I was listening to a conversation – perhaps that is more of what I meant…smile

  4. nonoymanga says:

    A magnitude of quantity!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga

  5. ManicDdaily says:

    So interesting to move from dorm room to mothering. Super hard. Very interesting intense poem, compressed yet with vivid details. k.

  6. Whew. I love this: “pinpricks my heart with a soundless question invitation to forever” … It is unbelievable how intensely a relationship can begin, only to later dissolve. It is really quite baffling how that can be, other than for the obvious fact that people inevitably change and that it is so very difficult to change together, finding balance and continued companionship rather than misery.

    Ugh. It really shouldn’t be this way; this is never a good way to start, one person (usually the woman) “echoing” the other and giving up personal identify:
    “relinquishing self completely
    to echo
    other other other”

    I love your alliterative “M” titles and the back and forth of the “stanza” placement. Left. Right. Left. Center. Like a march … wedding march, march of soldiers, pall bearers.

    Mmmm, like this very much: “two appellations”

    Terribly sad, and far too familiar: “raising, rearing, readying still without becoming mother”

    My greatest fear is that I will do “all this” and that they will still not “call me blessed,” that it will have all been for naught, that despite all my sacrifices and efforts in self-disappearance I will still have messed them up and failed at the one thing I tried to be good at.

    I love this … well, that whole fourth poem really. It is incredible: “after the call I’m looking for a sweatshirt that hides quivering”

    Also … “lifetime commitments transcend rose colors” and “oversharpening backward dialogue”

    You gave me chills with your repetition of “ring,” especially the final one.

    I’m so sorry this is based on truth. I know you’ve been fearing the severence for some time now. Has moving turned out to be the final push? Are you staying in Texas then? So sorry, sweetie. Even if you feel it is the right thing, it’s still so stressful … primarily because of the children. How are they taking it?

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Shawna,
      Final push … aptly put. Staying in Texas? I’m not sure yet. My kids have an idea, but we haven’t spoken to them yet. I told my youngest I was working for a year to brush up skills, resume and references (a must for hire-ability after a ten year hiatus). I don’t know exactly how they’re taking it, but my youngest sent me a text a few weeks which made it clear he was worried. Not the greatest of signs. He’s doing really well in school, and I really don’t want our marriage issues to become an excuse/reason for him to give up and revert back to indifference or even worse. We’ll see. The whole thing is slowly mutating (thus the title for the final poem). We’ll see. 😉

      • I know you’ll feel some relief when it’s all over and done with and you can move on to the next chapter. You are brilliant and will do so well. But yes, the children have to come first. Now are they in college, or do you still have one in high school?

        I also worry about being unable to get a job if I needed to. I freelanced for a few years, but it’s too hard to concentrate on editing with toddlers/preschoolers around. Besides, I hate it. I haven’t been employed for nine years. And writing “cute” on your resume only gets you so far. You know? 😉

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Shawna,
          😉 I’m not sure I could even list that. Clever, maybe. That doesn’t go very far either. One is out of school and considering returning to college (Yay!). The other is in his junior year. I’d plan to be back for his senior year. Thanks for the encouragement, because I certainly have doubts creeping in. I’ll keep you posted via email. You know what I really look forward to? Meeting you in person. 😀 We could stir up so much trouble, lol.

  7. slpmartin says:

    Enjoyed seeing what you did with these word prompts.

  8. My thoughts are with you…change can be difficult. Nice workings for both of these prompts…two that I also tackled this week. 🙂

  9. margo roby says:

    I’m glad I followed the ping back! Were you going to mention these to me, young woman!? Hope all is well with you and yours 🙂

    • Yousei Hime says:

      margo,
      I did leave you a comment. -_- The writing makes it pretty obvious that changes are in place. Other than the weight of worrying about whether we are making the right decision, I am doing alright. When things are finalized, I’ll be much, much better. Thanks for the opportunity to write about some of these shadows.

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