I’m responding to two of Rick Daddario’s 30 Days of Haiga prompts today — September 10–Trading Light and September 11–Book of Writing. Here are my offerings.
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after storm sky golden cloud towers flicker
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Related articles
- September: 10 of 30 Days of Haiga ~ Afternoon Light Leaks (19planets.wordpress.com)
- Bermuda Sunrise (haiku365.wordpress.com)
Shiteki Na Usagi 
I like the second haiga very much. The play on words is great. I agree with everything that “flipside records” said regarding this one. Actually, each reader can interpret it different way, which is wonderful. Many layers of meaning here. Great job! Oh, I love all the colors that you are using on all your haiga.
Lovely font on the first haiga. I’d like to use that, too, but I don’t have it on Zoombrowser.
Christine,
Thank you for the visit and the sharing of your thoughts. I always enjoy visiting and reading at your blog. I’ve always liked that many layers/many readers aspect of poetry. Thank you for adding another layer here. 🙂
The second is the stronger for me – makes me wonder whether human footprints stir seeds, or if ‘footprint’ is a metaphor… lots in this
Luke,
Ah … I’m glad you like the second. Footprints are definitely a metaphor. Rick’s prompt for this haiga was a “Book of Writing.” Aren’t our footprints, literally and figuratively, part of the stories we write with our lives? Without a doubt we stir seeds (I come home after a walk with enough clinging to my socks as proof.) Hopefully we stir all kinds of seeds in other people, as inspiration, mentors or in other roles. I really like the ideas that are in this haiga, and I’m thrilled you saw them. 🙂
wow Poetic Rabbit – oh. and aloha too. i especially like the second haiga here. the image is great coupled with the haiku. this is a beauty (imo). you have a great visual balance between what is in the image and the haiku. and the haiku relates and connects well to the image without speaking directly of it. i like that a lot – especially because there are so many comparisons and connections i can draw between the two in my mind. you show me things but let me make the connections and comparisons. yeah. to me this is what haiga is about – okay one of the things.
the first images is beautiful and ideal (imo) as a haiga image – all that beautiful open space. subtle and changing and ongoing. yeah. i like that. the haiku works – altho i wonder… if you really need “sky” and “cloud” in there?
after storm sky golden cloud towers flicker
after storm golden towers flicker
the first is more poetic. in my way of thinking tho, haiku is not quite the same in that poetic use of words as other forms of poetry. in the first everything is spelled out for the reader. in the second the reader has to engage and go between the words and the image and puzzle out what golden towers are – and that leaves a lot of options open. just a thought. this is always tricky – how much to put in, how much to leave out. it took me a long time to understand how less opens up more as often as not… (and i still find i put too much in frequently) .
i am delighted with the clarity in the font of both haiga. and i’m also liking that you are experimenting with place and placement too. fun on. aloha.
Rick,
I’m glad you like them, but I agree with you about dropping words in the second one. I tend to put more than necessary in, even in things as small as haiku. I’m trying to change that, but old habits …. Thanks for the insight and encouragement. Glad to know I’m not the only one struggling with what to keep and what to discard.
Awesome !
ayala,
Thank you. Glad you liked it. 🙂
Hi Yousei…I like these…never heard of haiga before…very intriguing to me. I love the second one especially..reminds me of spring, my favorite season of growth and renewal and love the musical notes that imply the “music” that nature creates. Lovely.
I started commenting earlier but had to run out to pick up a kid from school. 😉
I was freaking out over how gorgeous your images are, and also your fantastic haiku. Seriously, these are so strong. I am way impressed. Your first is one of the best 9/11 poems I’ve ever read. Like we’ve discussed, shorter pieces often have much more impact.
That orange sky is so gorgeous. Even after tragedy, there is still beauty left to be seen. I love your wildflower font again in the top haiga, and also the way you stacked your words building a tower. What a way to rebuild—with words, language, poetry. There is poetry in the grey cloud. There is poetry without words in the orange aftermath. There is more poetry yet behind the orange, a new day, rebirth.
And my is your second haiga groovy! A rainbow of music. You are speaking my language. 😉 Notes going upside-down and facing every direction. No rules. Just quick, light, fun music. I like that the lines are not straight, but rather wavy. Also that the notes climb upward toward the heavens, like seeds growing out of footprints. Every step we take bears fruit. We just might not see it for a while. I like your word play with “footprints” (whether intended or not) because the spaces between notes are called steps and half-steps. Whether we are moving up or down, backwards or forwards, or holding a long note in one place, we are still producing seeds and bearing fruit.
Brava, love. You make me happy. 🙂
P.S. There is so much promise for joy in your color selections. Orange and yellow dominate, so I see lots of hope here.
flipside,
I’m glad you saw the 9/11 reference in the first. You’re the only one to mention it so I was beginning to wonder if it was too subtle. I love that sky. I hope I see one like it again someday. I like the meanings you pulled from everything too. Many of them I’d hoped for and some I hadn’t thought of.
As usual, you found much if not more of what I’d intended in the second one as well. I was pretty sure, thinking as much when I posted it, that you’d like the colors in it. 😉 One thing that wasn’t connected enough, maybe, is that the prompt was a “Book of Writing.” I’d hoped that our lives would be the stories/flowers/footsteps that mark the earth as we pass. Too vague, perhaps. Maybe some tweaking in the future.
Happy you’re happy. 😀
Hi Yousei – I especially like the first one – well both. Are you posting on Twitter? I’d think they’d fit and very cool for micropoetry. k.
k,
Thank you. 🙂 I am posting on Twitter, but I don’t have them automatically designated as micropoetry. I’ll try to do that. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
Awesome!
Mohana,
Thank you. Glad you liked them. I read your post on Melbourne and really enjoyed it. Your love for the place shown through. I’d love to visit Australia someday. Thank you for visiting.
These are beautiful!
Mama Zen,
Welcome back. Glad you liked them. I’ll head over to your place now. 😀
I loved both!!
swirl it round and round
gautami tripathy,
Welcome. Glad you enjoyed them, and thank you for the visit, comment and link. See you at your place.
I love these! The first one is stunning. Do you know the name of the font you used in that one?
sandy,
Glad you like them. 🙂 That means a lot to me because I love so many of yours. The font is one of the choices on a caption adding app on my iPad. I don’t think it has a particular name (sorry), but I’ll check. If you look over the last few days, I think you’ll find I use that one quite a bit. 😉
Beauty in expression and in the images
I have nominated you for One Lovely Blog Award
Please come to my blog to receive the award
please do not feel obligated to pass this award on – this is a thank you to you
moondustrwriter,
Thank you, my friend. I do feel appreciated, and I hope you do too. Awards like those mean someone values your writing, and that treasuring alone is a very special gift. Keep writing and growing.
nice…the second one is my fav…i like the truth in it…how each small touch can bloom….pretty pairings with the pics as well….
brian,
Welcome back. 😀 Glad you like that one. I keep revising it in my head, because I love the idea, but think it can be even better. I had fun creating the picture. I can understand why you like that one, given your career and my training as a teacher. Come’s naturally to us, or it should. Thanks for your continued encouragement. I’ll try wading through the crowd at your place and leaving a comment next time I visit.
Fusion of words and image
John(@bookdreamer),
Thank you for visiting again. Glad you liked the Haiga. 🙂
Very nice. Really enjoyed these. Thanks!
Poet Laundry,
Welcome. Thank you for the visit and the comment. I’m so glad you enjoyed them. I hope you’ll visit and read again sometime.
I love the first one… the words “golden cloud towers” esp. is so attractive 🙂 Thank u for sharing, Yousei.
Leo,
Welcome and thank you. The photo for that pic is from a series of photos I took … last year, I think. Three are posted on this blog. If you search using “Oberon” (a word used in the poem on that post) you’ll find them. The photos are all from the same time and same sky. The golden was a western view, the purple the southern, and the third is an eastern shot. It was an amazing sky. Thank you for visiting, reading and sharing. Come by any time.
I really enjoyed both of these.
slpmartin,
Thank you. I like them both too. I admit I’m still mulling over the second one. I’m sure you know what I mean. 😉