Poetry with Prompt Words (9)

Banishing the Moon

Your red clover words unstitched my pillow sachet,
Sifting out the moonflower and yarrow glyphs,
Insisting on only heavy lavender remembrance.

Shall I embrace this moonless remembrance?
Shall I pillow my heart on duty’s bitter sachet?
What healing is in those cinnamon-less glyphs?

The hazel tree whispers of profound glyphs
Which marry dreams and speckled remembrance
In a waft of stars and Irish moss sachet.

I am your sachet, weaving glyphs of forever into your remembrance.

Handmade Heart-shaped Sachet

Handmade Heart-shaped Sachet (Photo credit: 花名小米)

Using words from flipside records and tritina form from dVerse: Form For All.


About T A Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
This entry was posted in Interesting Blogs, Poetry, Prompts, tritina and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Poetry with Prompt Words (9)

  1. I’m back, looking for my new haiku. 😉

    No pressure, of course. 🙂

  2. Amy Harrison says:

    I really like your poetry 🙂 And you’re a rabbit? Cool 😀 I’m a bird 😀

  3. Such a combination of things that move the senses. Also, this is so ambitious, putting together two different prompts. I find that whenever I do that, I’m able to come up with something exquisitely unique… which is the case here.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you very much. If you found it unique, and exquisitely so, then I am humbly pleased. This is a difficult form for me, as I’ve mentioned in other comments. I really appreciate you reading and commenting. I’m encouraged to try the form again sometime.

  4. nonoymanga says:

    i can feel the softness and sweet of the dough!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga

  5. Irene says:

    These lines are so lovely. Especially this:

    In a waft of stars and Irish moss sachet.

    The picture of heart shaped satchets is also loveliness.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I like that line too. Funny how we have our favorites. Finding that picture made me happy too, because I’d almost given up on finding one that fit. Thanks for the smiles you bring with you.

  6. “unstitched” … I love the placement of this word, as if it is both the words that are unstitched as well as the pillow.

    “Shall I pillow my heart on duty’s bitter sachet?” … What a lovely line!

    “The hazel tree whispers” … Mmmmm. Gorgeous. 🙂

    “In a waft of stars and Irish moss sachet” … Beautiful almost-ending-line.

    I don’t care for this form. I’ve done something similar before, and it’s painful to write. I just don’t like the forced repetition; it creates an odd, mangled feeling inside the words. … But I definitely like your meaning and delicious word combinations. I was so excited to see you link up! Please write me some haiku when you get a chance. 🙂

    Oh yeah, I love these too:
    “Sifting out the moonflower and yarrow glyphs”
    “only heavy lavender”

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I’ll agree with you on the “pain” of writing in these forms, but I do like stretching my skills. Surely it takes something special to pull these off, or a bit of luck. I know I read several that were wonderful. I adored the “unstitched” line too. It most definitely carries multiple meanings. Look forward to some haiku this week (haiga, actually). I’m going to try and participate with Rick Daddario’s month of haiga and plan to use some of your words too. 😉

  7. Nice weaving of words into a form ~ I specially like lavender rememberance and that 3rd stanza ~

    • Yousei Hime says:

      My favorite thing about this writing was looking up the “meaning” of each plant. Lavender, at one site, it symbolized “Love, Protection, Happiness, Peace, Chastity, Purification, Sleep and Longevity.” But at another, “housewifely virtue, acknowledgement.” The latter I held in mind as I wrote the rest. The whole poem changes meaning depending on the symbolism of each plant. Fun. 😀

  8. An array of textures and scents building a love song par excellence!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      This one was difficult to write and feel satisfaction. I like the images, especially those you mentioned, but I’m still frowning overall. Are we writers ever completely satisfied? There have been a few times, and then I go back and read later only to frown. 😉

  9. slpmartin says:

    Love the way you’ve woven the senses into the poem.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Senses draw us in, don’t they. I love using smell and this one has a tactile edge to it. So glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to comment too. I’ll endeavor to do the same.

  10. brian miller says:

    nice…love the bit of magic in this…nice nature touches as well…i on first read did not even notice the form which is cool for me….

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Back to where there’s internet, phew. Glad you enjoyed the writing. I read your spin on the form. These types do not come easily for me. They always feel awkward. Good to know this one has a “bit of magic.”

  11. ManicDdaily says:

    Very pretty poem, wonderful use of form- sorry on iPhone so comment above messed up–well done. K

    • Yousei Hime says:

      No problem on the that. I often mistype things on my phone. I’m glad you liked the poem. I loved the words and form, and though I’m not 100% satisfied with my final product, I’m happy enough to post it.

  12. Claudia says:

    nice…love the scents in this…the irish moss and cinnamon…lavender…clover…and i’ve learned a new word…glyphs…nice..

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