We Write Poems latest prompt is simple . . . almost too simple.
Simply, write a poem that uses twelve (12) words, no more, no less.
Simple and challenging. I love writing challenges. Of course, the first challenge was topic–so many ideas and nothing that attracts, just like what is in my closet. I finally stumbled on an appealing idea (and a tolerable outfit to wear). Links to other dozen-word offerings can be found here. Read carefully, because the prompt also offered this challenge:
And here’s one tangential hint – can you break rules when there are no rules? (Allowing here for the rule of twelve, but that’s all.) Allow your imagination to consider that.
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Now for my twelve poetic words:
Shiteki Na Usagi 
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Even though it’s simple and spare, it’s a super personal poem, and conveys a lot of feeling (and internal conversation) too. Well done. k.
K,
We write about things that matter to us, even the simple, transient things. Though the voice in the poem is strongly personal, I like that the conversational nature was evident too, otherwise the “super personal” would overwhelm the poem. Thank you for visiting and sharing.
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I think the ending about “your complete silence” really pulled the reader back to the beginning. I’m glad you pulled this out of your closet. I know brevity is your thing, and as to myself I much prefer this to counting syllables. I hate counting syllables you know.
Irene,
I love that you feel the poem comes full-circle. Part of that is set up in the cycle of sunrise to sunset, but I wasn’t sure the rest would carry the cycle through into other meanings. No counting syllables in this one. I think that in general, haiku are moving away from strict syllable count. You don’t wan’t to step into the middle of those debates (phew). I’m glad though. It’s always been more about the moment than the syllables for me. The syllables were just a way of forcing me to keep my images concentrated into very few words, just like this one . . . just a few more words this time. Thanks for stopping in and sharing. 😀
Silence can be comforting or scary… Nice write 🙂
ayala,
Thank you. You’re quite right on both counts. Glad you enjoyed it and hope you’ll visit again.
This is a perfect prompt for you. I love that you set up the poem with solitude and end with silence. This makes me think of “taking a break” in a relationship (which reminds me of that Friends episode where Ross “cheats” on Rachel and claims “but we were taking a break” as his excuse. Funny stuff. Unless it’s real).
Your first line gives clues about this person’s mental state … accumulated solitude can be dangerous; the mind should not have so much space in which to analyze and go crazy. Hopefully there is a mental reprieve from sunset to sunrise … or some sort of distraction (perhaps just sleep). I also like your double meaning in “complete silence.” You’re wondering why this person has been completely silent, but you’re also wondering why this person seems to be complete while all this silence is going on. You’re thinking an empty place should be left, a longing, something missing. But this person seems to feel complete without you, or so you fear.
flipside,
You know what I like best . . . how you make me rethink and rediscover my own writing. I love your comments. 😀 I should have something special for you soon. 😉
I love that poetry can say much more than the poet intended. I find the most meaning in my writing when I go back after the fact to interpret. I discover many more little nuances than I originally intended.
I do know how to spell “excuse,” by the way. Oh brother … and “you’re.” What’s wrong with me?! Don’t answer that.
flipside,
We all have those moments, especially when our thoughts are rolling ahead of our fingers. I agree with you that some of the best times (and some of the worst) are when we review and discover unexpected sparkles (or dross) in our own writing. Commenters like you help me see more possibilities. That’s why you’re so precious. Hoping to finish your next poem this weekend (before the next word list). 😉
Yay! I can’t wait for your next poem. They are so tiny and packed with sparkles (no dross).
flipside,
😀 Sweet flatterer.
There’s a huge difference in sincere compliment and flattery. HUGE.
flipside,
I’ll take both. 😀
I like the way you set up the conclusion. Long silences are always portentous.
vivinfrance,
This poem has become a learning benchmark for me. I am seeing much that I did, by happenstance and purpose, that I like, and so many are confirming these in their comments. Thank you for reading and sharing your analysis.
Solitude can be exhausting. Thank God for the company of Christ! 🙂
Anders,
Very true. Our spiritual pursuits give can offer depth and substance to life that the material world cannot touch. Thank you for your words and your visit.
Victoria said – the breaks make it – the white space – the enjambment, I would go so far as to say… very nicely penned in micropoetry ilk
Luke,
You know me and brevity. We’re tight. 😉 I loved your recent post. Had me chuckling all the way down. Thanks for stopping and sharing your thoughts. They’re always appreciated.
Something a little more serious in order, I think 😉
Luke,
You can go serious if you want, but I’m relishing the laughter these days. As you can tell from my short but grim poem, there are dark clouds, silent but threatening thunder. Whatever you write, I’m looking forward to it.
just done it…
Luke,
Thanks for the invite. Loved it. Very well put, with just enough prodding and pleading to evoke thought and frowns. Left you another comment at the post.
Those spaces in between the well-chosen words are packed with meaning. Nicely done.
Victoria,
Spacing seemed more obviously important to me this time (not always the case). Definitely an covert emphasis on the silence. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the piece. It always helps in seeing how a poem translates from reader to reader.
Nice write – now I’m wondering too…
Ruth,
😉 I’ll let you know when I know.
silence can be soothing…or scary…all depends on the context….wondering about someone elses silence draws me to the later….
brian,
Exactly. Thanks for reading and wondering with me. 😉
Oh, I read trouble between those lines. Wonderfully written!
Misky,
Clever reader. 😉 We’ll see. Glad you liked the poem. I rather like it too.
Has me wondering. Is speaker speaking of relationship with another, or with self? Like that curiosity. Also like all the s sounds at the beginning, and then the hard c of complete, which sets up that long silence at the conclusion. Wonderful piece of writing,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth,
I love comments like yours. They set my gears grinding . . . which is a good thing. Thank you for the analysis and visit. I’m looking forward to returning honor.