Another Monday Melting Poem

deeper rooted than red leafed maple
further than their
helicopter seeds
helix spin
and flip
wider, thicker
than Choctaw cane brakes
much, much later than Asiatic lily’s

beauty fades how can you doubt

unraveled love spirals
down a smooth
curve of
until it
rooting deeper
and deeper into grief

image credit: D. Lentink, Wageningen University

For the incomparable Shawna

About T A Hillin-Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Interesting Blogs, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to Another Monday Melting Poem

  1. Ruth says:

    gorgeous! I love the shape of it, the philosophy and, for me, unexpected healing, even if the words do end on “grief”

    • Yousei Hime says:

      ๐Ÿ™‚ It is a form of healing. I hadn’t thought of it until you pointed it out. It is a bit like the death before life idea of the plant cycle. I’d rather have a long beautiful life, say like a tree, but perhaps some of us are more like the the lily, blooming magnificently only die back then bloom again. You’ve given me a new way of looking at my own writing, not to mention life. Thank you.

  2. nonoymanga says:

    Good Read. Thanks for sharing Nonoy Manga

  3. Very moving piece and cool “layout”….nice job.

  4. Misky says:

    A beautiful line of thought in this one. Very nice. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Shawna says:

      Ahem, don’t think you can ignore me. I expect a poem from you. ๐Ÿ™‚ You cannot hide from me, princess.

      • Yousei Hime says:

        ๐Ÿ˜‰ Not truly ignoring you. I’ve just been trying to work out another poem, and it is not cooperating. I guess I’ll give it another day to come around. I’ll tackle your list in the interim.

  5. ManicDdaily says:

    Unraveling love definitely starts a downward spiral. This one literally does melt. K.

  6. Your poem and picture complement each other perfectly.

  7. This image/your words…amazing! Thank you!

  8. Shawna says:

    I just adore “Asiatic lilyโ€™s” and “rooting deeper and deeper into grief.”

  9. Jennifer Worrell says:

    I loved the format, too, and the helicopter seed image. I was completely into the unraveling portion. Thanks for a great poem:)

  10. brian says:

    ugh…really like the second part of this starting with unraveled love….it is def emotive and plays well off the first part….i love playing with helicopter seeds too…cool picture…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thanks. I kept wondering what to do with that word “helix” (bless Shawna’s soul) and when that picture came up the bells and whistles went off. Wonderful feeling that. The picture is the coolest one I’ve ever seen. Thanks for sharing the poem and pic with me.

      • Shawna says:

        I loved seeing the image after the poem. This gave it a really cool after-effect. It makes me so happy that I inspire you a little bit (the feeling is more than mutual); you are the sweetest thing ever, and I send you so much love. “Helix” was a tough one. The whole list was, really. Why do you think I jumped off the deep end with “helium x”?

        • Yousei Hime says:

          ๐Ÿ˜€ Tough is a mild word, my dear. Still I often like a challenge, and that word dared me to use it boldly. Wasn’t that image perfect? I was thrilled when I found it. Yay internet! I agree with the post-reading effect. It reinforces and echoes the poem. I’m glad we’re symbiotic. I’d started to think myself a bit of a leech (yuck). Here is to feeding, growing and nurturing each other through writing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. claudia says:

    dang…esp. the last stanza i found very strong…hard and sad when that happens..but can happen so easily if we’re not careful..

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I like that last part too…as a piece of writing. As a part of life, it’s harder to see beauty in it. Thanks for sharing it with me…Stateside, right?

  12. Reblogged this on Just another wake-up call and commented:
    absolutely loved this poem.. the words are beautiful and the use of space gives the poem such elegance. Re-blogging it, for my indiblogger friends. Hope you like it!

  13. slpmartin says:

    That was such a brilliant visual you created with your words…I could see the seed all the way to the ground…very much enjoyed this one.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I’m pleased you liked it so well. The bit of research I did definitely informed the structure of the poem. When I found that photo online, I knew it would shape the piece and had to include it in the post. Thanks for letting me share it with you.

  14. Loved every word, specially .. “deeper rooted than red leafed maple”, “helicopter seeds” and the perfectly framed ” unraveled love spirals down a smooth curve of doubt until it germinates rooting deeper and deeper into grief” .. perfect . The placement and spacing is giving the poem amazing appeal. I have never re-blogged anything but may I re-blog this?

  15. Shawna says:

    I am completely in love with this poem! Seriously, I want to lick it along all its beautiful and sensual curves of sadness just to lift its spirits.

    Thank you!!! I know I am way behind on reading and commenting on your blog. I’ve been on writing sabbatical since I’ve been over-blogging lately. I’ll post a new word list today and catch up on your blog as well. I adore you, love. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yousei Hime says:

      You’ve got similar tendencies to Claudia (I think she kisses hers first, then sticks in the tongue) ๐Ÿ˜‰ . Don’t worry about when you catch up. I know the feeling. I have a few hundred emails to read through before tomorrow’s batch of weekly updates from blogs I follow. Wait…there is such a thing as over-blogging? Huh, maybe that’s why a certain man suggested a choice between full-time poet hobby and being a wife/mother. I’m leaning toward the first one because it pays the soul better. I look forward to the new words. Doing Mr. Linky this time? Thanks for all the smiles and nudges you give me.

  16. Raven says:

    Lovely poem. I followed your link to “cane brakes.” It looks related to bamboo. Hm, read your comment above. I have terrible problems with Word Press and wish that I had never left Blogger. Actually I am thinking of placing my haiku back there.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Indeed it is related. Apparently it is the only species of bamboo native to the United States. Unfortunately it has been terribly reduced to something less than 10% of its habitat 100 years ago. Formatting is my only real problem with WP. I’ve tried Blogger and had a harder time with it. Not sure what that says about me, but I’m certain it reflects in some fashion. You do what you need to do. The article I thought might help on layout is here On the Road . Let me know what you decide to do so I can follow you there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  17. Very nice. Good use of space in the poem to achieve the effect.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thanks. I still haven’t worked out formatting on WP, though I saw something that will help me with it the other day. I’ll get around to studying up on it eventually, but I don’t usually need it, so…. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the visit and comment.

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