Rabbit Fairytales

I apologize for the missing fairy tale, but I’ve deleted this post to polish the story and assure its eligibility for publication.  Any curious visitors are welcome to contact me about the story and/or its progress in reaching print.

Yousei Hime

About T A Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Interesting Blogs, Poetic Rabbit, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

99 Responses to Rabbit Fairytales

  1. Roxie says:

    delightful! I love the images your scenes paint, and the repetition is classic, great story!
    Hey Yousei, a thought, if you want to publish this in the future, you shouldn’t leave it up here: considered already published if you try to submit it somewhere…but you knew that?

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Yes, I do know that, but I’m stubborn or old-school or both. I guess I thought if it was good enough, someone might publish it even though it had been up on my blog. I guess I’ll pull it then. 😦 Does password protected get around that? Any ideas for my next step with the story?

      • Roxie says:

        you’re not going to like my next step suggestion: edit, and edit 🙂
        and while you’re chopping and dicing, search out a home for this darling…you can try children’s publishers who accept unsolicited subs…

        • Yousei Hime says:

          😉 Well…I knew that was coming, and who ever likes it? I want to do this one right, because it certainly has a special place in my heart no matter what ends up happening to it. If you remember any obvious wonky spots, let me know and I’ll look at them first.

          • Roxie says:

            my suggestion is to format it into stanzas or verses to be laid out on a page just like a children’s book: we call it a mock-up or dummy…then you can see how the story unfolds on each page, and what should/shouldn’t be there…

            • Yousei Hime says:

              Excellent idea. You think I should stick with poetic form rather than switch it to nearly pure prose? I’ve thought about the age range, but with illustrations (which I can’t seem to shake) it should be structured for early or emerging readers…maybe. Ha! Maybe I should go to a bookstore! Always looking for a good excuse. 😉

            • Roxie says:

              definitely visit the bookstore and library! and read what’s popular on Amazon, check out what publishers have put out there, and see where your story fits and how it flows. Don’t rule out either form, but experiment to find the best.

  2. Julie Catherine says:

    This is so beautiful that it took my breath away and brought tears to my eyes …. Thomas Davis gave me your link, and I am forever grateful to him for the opportunity to read your beautiful poetry. Thank you for your gift. ~ Julie

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. I’m thrilled that you enjoyed the tale, because the rabbit fairytale is very special to me and was a long time in creation. I’m happy I could share it with someone who enjoyed it so. I hope you’ll visit again.

  3. Wow. Just wow.

    Fantastical imagery and flow. The myths woven in, and how you keep referring back and forth, touch stones that keep everything together.

    Epically brilliant.

  4. Misky says:

    Merciful heavens, that’s wonderful! 😀

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I made it to your site! I’m so glad. I don’t know what the problem was the other day…but it’s over now. Glad you enjoyed the poem, but it’s lacking a dragon and Keats. Nothing is complete without those. 😉

  5. Very many wonderful parts of this fairytale. I like quoting favourite lines, but they are so many here and so little space to fill 😉

  6. (quote removed by author)

    I absolutely loved this part among many other part, but this really struck something in me. His courage. 🙂

  7. I had to come back and finish reading this….I really enjoyed it. I like his journey …you are a very creative writer. It takes great talent to write in easy, simple and beautiful language. I encourage you to consider turning this or publishing it into a children’s book. If you visited Pat Hatt’s blog, he has turned his talent into writing a children’s book (upon our encouragement)…who knows where it will lead to ~

    Cheers !

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you for coming back and finishing. Also thank you very much for the encouragement. I’m not certain I’ve been to Pat Hatt’s blog. Do you have a link? Feel free to leave it in the comments here. I’d love to visit it to see part of that success story.

  8. This blew me away completely! Real magic here. A wonderful, wonderful tale. You hold the reader under a spell (you’ll have to use some stronger potion to lure your husband into reading, though! This is so funny, and so familiar, mine “Did you check my blog?” became a family joke, “Recently” is often the answer – remember those seven dwarfs who recently washed their hands? 🙂
    A great fairy tale, thank you!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      The Happy Amateur,
      I’m delighted to know other people have husband-blog issues. The pleasure is even greater since you enjoyed the story. Thank you for sharing your story and mine.

  9. KC says:

    And once again, the blogging community has led me to yet another absolutely fantastic artist! A word artist, and from what I read above, a picture one as well. 😉

    I absolutely adore the simplicity and depth in that story. I’m addicted to fairy tales, and each and every mythos out there…but the Japanese myths are special to me. My grandfather was a Captain, in the Navy, stationed in Japan long enough for my mother to go to 3 yrs. of high school there, and for them to come home with a houseful of wonderful things. (My favorite as a child was a little ivory statue of a “Honey-carrier” I think it was called? It was carved so that his little rear end was visible from behind. 😉 And no, I wasn’t told as a child what was in his buckets…I found out for myself from reading one of my grandmothers books…at 5.)

    The best “wonderful thing” was a small light green booklet which I believe my mother got in school, that was full of Japanese myths and stories. A lot of scary ones, like the wife with the hole in the top of her head that ate her step-children when she was discovered…that one made me shiver. But also the Monkey King, and Kitsune/Inari, and Tanuki, and Usagi and…yeah. Like that. 🙂

    I suppose if I had to say why they echoed so strongly for me was partly novelty…or maybe freshness? I had been reading greek and roman myths and legends, celtic myths (Wow, some differences there!) and Bro. Grimm and HCA and all before I started school. I remember around 4-ish, sitting upstairs in the hall when my mom had sent me to bed, reading HCA’s story about the dolls in the drawer that came out and had a dance…shame on me, I can’t remember the title.

    Anyway, back to the Japanese mythos. The sense of humor, the new -types- of creature/spirit/demon/monster…and the sometimes confusing for a non-Japanese speaker mix of all that they seemed to be…it all blended together in my head, and formed the background for a lifelong love of myths and legends, fantasy and urban fantasy, “childrens books” and the adults who love them!

    I see I’ve yet again written a post instead of a comment…silly me. So I’ll let you go for now, just know that I love your story. The only critique/concept I will make is to keep it like it is, even if you do put it in prose form later. The use of 3’s was beautiful, it wove the tale (and the tail) together, and I think it was just about right, length-wise. We’ve just gotten a bit lazy in our reading these days. My much beloved ex-fiance, for instance, who couldn’t concentrate long enough to read more than an illustrated novel (read “fancy comic book”) or fan-fic. *sighs*

    It may need some pruning to make it a kids book, though. At least one that sells. Kids have no patience these days. I’m glad that you have a burgeoning poet in your son, and I hope he appreciates having you for a mother!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Well…right back at you on the finding a cool blogger. I mean come on, your gravatar alone is worthy of praise. I love your comment-post and am sincerely jealous of your direct connection to Japan. Yes several of those Japanese folktales are frightening/disturbing. I wonder how they view folktales from elsewhere. They love Disney, I know that. But that’s the fluffy stuff.

      Just so you know, this post will stay as is. If I make any changes, and I suspect I will make some, they’ll be done elsewhere. I definitely want to keep all or most of the 3’s. (Like spell casting in the story, right?) Not to support your beloved ex or anything, but I love illustrated novels. Haven’t really gotten into fan-fic much though.

      Pruning will be a little tough. I’d rather prune little and push the children’s boundaries. Besides, aren’t there younger kids who’ve read the Potter series? Just kidding, mostly. I’ll edit, but I think good illustrations will make the biggest difference. Thanks for your visit and all you shared. I’ve really enjoyed reading it. I look forward to sharing across our blogs. 🙂

      • KC says:

        *laughs* Don’t get me wrong on the illustrated novels, I love’em too…just not as a steady and exclusive diet. 😉 Especially the Neil Gaiman stuff. Sandman in particular. ❤

        As for fan-fic…it's hard to say. It's like any huge community of fans…some good, some great…and most buried under huge stinking piles of…yeah. Blech. Although it does seem that the better the subject, the better the story. Hmmm…I just realized how silly that statement is. To reword: the better I liked the subject, the more forgiving I am to the authors who also liked it, thus confirming my good taste. *giggles*

        As for 3's, exactly! It's a major theme/concept in many myths, especially in fairy tales and magic. Hrrmm…poem idea snuck in there. 🙂

        And unfortunately I do tend to minimalize kids imagination and patience. I need to stop complaining about the issue, and figure out a way to fix it! I think your story with some beautiful illustrations would work for that…at least for a read-to-me for the little ones, and a read-it-again-and-again for the slightly older bunch.

        I have, at last count, 11 nephews and nieces, between the ages of 18 and not-quite-two. I decided a while ago that between my four surviving siblings they've done a wonderful job of repopulation…thus freeing me to be a fantastic Aunt. 😉 And as said fantastic Aunt…I have decided that once your book is published I will buy a copy for each family. And they will love me forever. Right? Right? 😉

        If you don't get sick of me and my overtyping fingers, I'll look forward to many fun exchanges between our blogs! *hugs*

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Be my aunt too. 🙂 I think you’re right about most kids. That lack of patience is probably starting earlier and earlier. It looks like they can be reformed though. My youngest became a reader later rather than earlier. My brother didn’t start until his twenties. And me, shoot I’ll never stop. I’m determined to publish it now, just for your extended family, and let me tell you, I think I’ll love you forever just for that promise. There is no chance I’ll get sick of you. See you soon. 😀

  10. mareymercy says:

    Wow – you really made the most of this prompt. Just lovely!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you. This is a story I’ve wanted to write for some time. The prompt was just the catalyst. Glad I could share it with you.

      • So neat! Mine was like this, too, Yousei! It’s those kind that really shine when words meet paper. This is purely a work of art. I loved this so much and appreciate each detail. You have such a gift! 🙂

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Your response is a smile giver. I’m happy to have share the story with you, truly.

          • So, very inspiring! The entire story the way you built it and actually all of the commentary here @ your beautiful artwork is really something very special. I’m so pleased I could be here to take a bit of it into my heart. 🙂

            • Yousei Hime says:

              Just in case there is a misconception, the banner and gravatar are art done by my friend and fellow blogger, Leslie at Leslie White. I have done art here, but it’s nothing like hers. I am so grateful to what she adds daily to my blog site. Here is my post thanking her. Her is her post revealing the art.

            • Yes, we did discuss this, Yousei, I’m glad you bring this up though. I was referring to the “artwork,” of your poetry. 🙂 Clarifications are always good though.

            • Yousei Hime says:

              Then I humbly accept your correction (actually I’m thrilled). Fairytales need to be rather visual, don’t you think. They need action and feeling too. Shoot, they’ve got all the good stuff. Thanks for setting me straight (again). 😉

            • You’re so very sweet! I agree with you wholeheartedly!! All of the elements drawn in together really make for such rich imaginary places for our minds to play! Exciting, really the places we can go… 🙂

  11. Shawna says:

    You know I love you if I read every spellbinding word. This was entrancing; thank you for sharing your beautiful words. These are my many favorites:

    (quote removed by author)

    • Yousei Hime says:

      And I adore you for reading it and commenting so sweetly. You have lots of favorite parts, just like the writer. 😉 (commented edited by author) Thank you for taking the time to read this. 🙂

  12. margo roby says:

    I balked at adding yet another comment to the 52 you have and then realised there is no other way to tell you how much I enjoyed the story [and how familiar it makes me feel, with the stories I grew up with], so here is a fifty-third for you to read.

    (Comment edited by author) I won’t even start with lines I like; there are so many. I started to write that I think I love the introductory stanza the most, but then there are others, but rereading again, yes, the first stanza. Yet I love the whole.

    • Yousei Hime says:


      I am so thankful you added the 53rd. Not only is the number of comments flattering, your comment is especially important to me since I value your insights.

      (Comment edited by author)

      I couldn’t even begin to pick out a favorite part. Just like choosing between my boys, I wouldn’t do it but instead I’d end up pointing out details I like and dislike from each area. Overall I’m just glad to have the story out “on paper” and not rattling around in my head.

      My youngest has started a response poem to this (not a sequel, but sort of one). I’ll post that when it’s finished, but we showed it to my not-poetically-inclined husband. We loved it, of course, as parents do when their child goes beyond expectations. Then my husband insisted on reading mine, the inspiration. I warned him it was long, but he insisted. He read down (deleted by author) and said he’d read the rest the next day. I don’t think he has, since I doubt he knows how to find my blog. Though it was late when he started reading, I’m still chuckling about this.

      Thank you for taking the time to read it and definitely the time to comment. It’s almost impossible to cut personal connections to this one and let it stand as writing on its own. Having so many positive comments makes it easier and encourages me to keep writing in general. What a needy little rabbit. 😉

      • margo roby says:

        Aren’t we all needy little rabbits? Except for those foxes 🙂
        One thing you can do, because there is never harm in drafting, is to rewrite as pure prose; see what you think. Then look where you want to introduce poetic elements that you like in the poem. Write them in. See if it works. Because this is myth, you have more stylistic latitude [I wonder why it’s latitude and not longitude — we never have more longitude]. Then, try a third version which is the marrying of prose and poetry. It should prove a fun and enlightening exercise.
        I look forward to reading your son’s response poem. And, I love the story of your husband. It’s so… husbandy 😀

        • Yousei Hime says:


          Thank goodness for the forgiveness of myth. Your plan is nearly identical to what I had in mind. I’m going to wait a while longer before I tackle it though. Sentimental is good except when editing and housecleaning (an evil form of editing). I’m looking forward to my son’s poem too. He’s a rat (Chinese zodiac) so expect at least one new character. As to the husband…he’s also an engineer who doesn’t know how to sit still and enjoy deeper things. Yep, he’s pretty husbandy.

          I’m working on Joseph Harker’s latest reverie today. I’ll let you know when it’s up, hopefully in time for OLN at dVerse. Wasn’t that a great prompt!

  13. Maria Tatham says:

    Yousei, check my ‘front page’ for a temporary link to this poem that we admire:

  14. hedgewitch says:

    I’m very late to get here, but it was so worth it and am so glad I did. This was like reading one of my favorite fairytale books as a child and finding a new story, one that outshone all the old ones. (deleted by author) How hard and long we look for that in life. Beautiful, and memorable.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I suspect you’ve read at least as many fairy tales as I did growing up, right? If I came close to any of your favorites I’m delighted. I absolutely drew from every tale I’ve loved, the trials, characters, patterns and language. I wanted to go back and read and reread dozens, but then I also wanted to write the rabbit’s tale. Reading would have delayed it at least a week. Once I get started…. Thank you for coming and reading and commenting, proving its never to late for a fairy tale.

  15. Thomas Davis says:

    Ahhh, Yousei Hime. If you never write another poem you will have written at least one masterpiece. Although, if you ever stop, I may turn into a thunderhead and shake and rumble until the heavens tremble.

    This is poetry, not prose, and although prose has its place, and this lack-of-patience-in-the-midst-of-beauty world may not have time for long poems, may its patience grow so short that eventually it swallows itself and leaves behind a world where poetry sings magic into every truly human heart.

    There are so many wonderful aspects to this: The craft is superb, drawing from the old tradition of the folk tale where the whole series of events is triggered by words and themes repeated using almost the same language; the stories within the story itself, each one creating a new task in the history of the old tales from Greek mythology; the beauty of the language!

    (quotes deleted by author)

    Wonderful. Magical. What a wonderful message for those of us who would be poets, but also for those who need to discover that the best person to be is themselves. This is poetry with magic ingrained into its singing, and I, for one, celebrate you for a masterful work that deserves to be read for generations and generations to come. May you make this longer or write another with the same magical qualities over and over again in your life as a poet.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thomas Davis,
      May everything you wrote become true. Thank you very much. You always encourage me.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thomas Davis,
      I have my blog settings so that I have to approve comments, so sometimes it takes a while before they show up. I added the end of your second comment to the first because I wanted to remember it. Thank you again for your readings, comments and continued encouragement.

  16. pretty! pretty! pretty! there is no other way to describe this writing. It has the markings of a classic. I hope its been published.

    (quotes deleted by author)

    .. will read this to my children tonight!

  17. slpmartin says:

    Now how does one adequately comment about such a wonderful fairytale poem…I guess I can’t…but can merely say what a delight it was to read and what a wonderful illustrated book it would make…thanks much for brightening my day.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      If you like it, that is praise enough. I think fairytales are for enjoying; anything else is bonus. May your brightened day get even brighter. 🙂

  18. Maria Tatham says:

    Beautiful, Yousei Hime! Things unknown, undreamed of. Another world.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      We share a love of things fantastic, I’ve noticed. Tolkien and Lewis are two of my world changers, and there are many others. I’m glad you enjoyed the tale, so glad I could share it with you.

      • Maria Tatham says:

        We do share this. Thank you for publishing your fairytale — actually, much more of a fairytale than many Old World things are! Again, beautiful and nuanced, delicate and more, offering ANOTHER world. I love Old World things, but these things have a unique appeal I wouldn’t want to do without. The foxes’ wedding procession? Wow.

  19. ladynyo says:

    Beautiful! Enchanting! You knew I would love this….a perfectly spun tale, and with the gentlest of messages….

    Lovely! Epic and classical tale made by you!

    Lady Nyo

  20. Nice story. I really like it.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      😀 Thanks for commenting. One always hopes that others will like what is so special to self. I’m glad you liked it. Looking forward to your haiga.

  21. Good morning, I loved reading your story today!

  22. annell says:

    A wonderful fairy tale!

  23. Raven says:

    Such depth of beauty lives within you. OK I will be honest. I grew up loathing comics, (I did not grow up with TV – we weren’t allowed) today I cannot abide cartoons and I’d like to see Disney implode. Fairy tales … eh. The Wizard of Oz, can’t stand it. And yes, it’s OK, lots of people think that there is something wrong with me.

    But Yousei, this! This is filled with beauty, tenderness, wisdom and so much more. Of course this absolutely must become a children’s book and with your own illustrations … won’t it be a beauty. Brendan is right about so many kid’s books really being for adults/

    And you? You are not the least bit childish, no, you have retained a “child-like” outlook upon some of life and that is one of your treasure-gifts.

    Thank you for an exquisite story.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      😉 Well, I’m glad you liked it. I do think it is closer to a traditional fairy tale than Disney and most of that cartoon garbage on TV (blech). As to kid’s stories secretly being for adults, who said you could let that cat out of the bag? Just kidding. I read all kinds of books and watch all kinds of movies, that though they are for a younger audience, I enjoy them more than adult stuff. That’s one reason I’m such a Miyazaki fan. One television cartoon I would definitely recommend, though you still might find it a bit silly, is Avatar: The Last Airbender. Childlike…I like that. I wouldn’t mind keeping that the rest of my days. Thanks for sharing this story with me. 🙂

      • Raven says:

        I just went to the link … I loved it! Thank you. My daughter is here just for 3 nights. If I can find it I will get it for tomorrow night. If I succeed, my husband with think I have gone off the deep end … :)))))

        • Yousei Hime says:

          I found it a delightful series, and the sequel to it begins next month. Good luck finding it. It is definitely fun for family viewing. Even my stuffy husband loved it.

  24. Brendan says:

    The best children’s stories are actually for the parents’ benefit, I think, putting into the language of folklore what’s been learned the deepest along the way, what matters. most. You’ve crafted a well-proportioned initiation tale, the stanzas right-sized for good narrative flow, and a deft enough hand to make a terrain unfamiliar to many Western readers (the Japanese folktale) a happy place to go. (part of comment deleted by author) Your rabbit is much like my patron saint Brendan (or one of my saints), who had burnt a book of wonders exclaiming such things to be untrue, only to be bid by God to sail the seven seas and witness all those things himself, then go back to Ireland to write the voyage down. (part of comment deleted by author) This would work well as a children’s book. I can only imagine what sort of wonderful illustrations could accompany it. Fine, accomplished, very satisfying work, Yousei.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I wonder sometimes if I am childish, fortunate or both to have a being with which I identify (two beings for me, I suppose). It has become the metaphor through which my life is filtered, my alter and preferred ego. I thought of this when I read your comment and remembered how my son keeps asking me lately (a sequel to a favorite cartoon is soon to air) what power I wish I had or he should have. How ironic that your Brendan traveled and wrote a book, in a sense replacing what he’d burned. (part of comment deleted by author) Hmmm. Yes, I’d want some very fine illustrations for this story, being completely biased and overly fond of it. 😉 I am so glad you enjoyed it. You are a tale weaver I much admire (see your influence in the length of my tale), so your enjoyment is a gift that humbles and honors me. To our other selves, may we live as bravely in life as in our writing.

  25. Emma says:

    What a journey. You’ve incorporated such wonderful details into this piece, and covered so much ground. A very enjoyable read.

  26. Shawna says:

    Good golly, that is long! I will have to finish it tomorrow. Bedtime for one little girl who’s fighting it at present. I love where the story is going, the blue flower. Beautiful. 🙂

    • Yousei Hime says:

      😀 I’m chuckling aloud. I just knew you’d react something like that. Good luck with bedtime. I have to go check on my youngest to make sure he’s asleep and not watching a movie or playing a game. Tomorrow. 😀

  27. brian miller says:

    this is so awesome…i saved it…because i wanted to savor it right before bed…and it did not disappoint….it was fascinating and magical and i think he made the right choice in the end…smiles…i do think converting to prose will do this justice and not lose any of the wonder that you put into it….

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Super big smile. I’m so glad you liked it. Think your kids would? There’s the real test, lol. I agree with the prose conversion. I just couldn’t get a consistent rhythm going, stanzas changed length, blah blah blah. So happy to share it with you and it premiered as a bedtime story. I’m grinning just remembering all the fairy tales I read before bedtime. I had so many favorites. Sweet dreams.

  28. leahjlynn says:

    wow, this a worthy story to read. your imagination is just awesome and something to simply aspire to. i would never have thought of half the things you’ve written here. Looking forward to more.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Welcome 😀 . Very important to know, I did not think all of this up on my own. I drew upon many things, in particular Japanese folklore (follow the links for some information). I’m delighted that you enjoyed it though. I’m looking forward to seeing what you think of other writings here. They are all different, but all from the same little rabbit. Take your time and leave notes. 🙂

  29. zongrik says:

    that’s some story, and you even have a tale within a tale.

  30. Ruth says:

    A beautiful read, really one of the best children’s stories I’ve read in a long while… Well done, Yousei.

  31. This would make an excellent children’s story, with some colourful illustrations it would be a wonderful tale for them, in either form.
    Awww… so pleased it had a happy ending. 🙂

  32. claudia says:

    now…here comes the promised fairy tale…hey..no wonder you needed some more time…that’s epic..

    (quotes deleted by author)

    wow…great write…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I’m going to take your comment and run for the hills. 😉 It is rather long, and it could have been longer. I’d originally thought of working in all the animals of the Chinese zodiac to help or hinder the quest. I realized that not only would it take me until next month to get it finished and that I’d probably abandon it before then, but it would also seriously interrupt the focus of the story. Magic always comes at a price (or should, I think). I’m very glad you liked it, for now it was all worth the time and toil. Thank you for encouraging it.

  33. ManicDdaily says:

    Hi Yousei, this is a lovely tale and has the cadence and language and imagery of a classic one. It is perfectly poetic, but I would personally prefer for it to be written out in prose form. This is my own prejudice but I think it difficult (and daunting) to read a very long poem, while the same length of text would roll along in a short story and be more readable. Also, the story has the poetic feel and language of such a tale. K.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Actually I agree with you on every point. I’d intended this idea for a prose story, but the opportunity came along for a poetic fairy tale. I’m certain I’ll convert it someday, with little poetic interludes sprinkled throughout. Glad you took the time to read through it and that I could share it with you.

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