NaHaiWriMo Days 1-2

I didn’t start National Haiku Writing Month on time, missing the first two days.  I’m a bit of a stickler about some things, so here are two haiku for the first two days’ prompts:  Day 1–apple and Day 2–boat

rumbling storm
then a sweeter scent–
crab apple

Joy

swift creek crossing
look back at new boat
my shoe


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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
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33 Responses to NaHaiWriMo Days 1-2

  1. jruthkelly says:

    loving the new boat… beautiful haiku here…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hey Cuz,
      Good to see you here. I’ve been over reading but didn’t say much (so behind in blog reading). Hope you’re doing well, staying warm and out of the wind and storms.

      • jruthkelly says:

        staying warm, yes. and doing well. missed the cuz and had to say hello. i love your poetry. oxo!

        • Yousei Hime says:

          jruthkelly,
          😀 Thank you for that much needed grin. I’m glad you’re doing well. I’ve seen lots of activity on your blog and twitter. To me that’s always a good sign (when I’m quiet that means too much life). See you round, Cuz.

  2. Shawna says:

    Oh my gosh, my shoe the boat … you are brilliant!!! Love, love, love the second especially. But the contrast in the first is delightful as well, the calm after the storm, the sweet after the sour, life lived somewhere in the combination. They truly can’t be divided.

    Can I play? I have to learn how to write proper haiku.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Shawna,
      Play! Play! Play! I’d love another haiku companion. 😀 (I love how you see where I’m going in these poems.)

      • Shawna says:

        You would have to teach me. I’m clueless … a hopeless 5-7-5-er who can’t master the cut nor even the seasonal themes.

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Shawna,
          I could write a post about my current “rules” if that would help and encourage you. I’m not sure how accurate they would be in comparison to current English haiku writing practices, but I don’t think that they are too far off. At heart, I think writing haiku is almost identical to writing any other type of poem, just more condensed. The writer is trying to capture an emotion, an image, a metaphor, a feeling…something, a few words, capture it so clearly that the reader reacts in something of an echo to the writer. My favorite place to read haiku and read about haiku is Red Dragonfly. Read it like warm sake, slow contemplative sips. 😉 Let me know if you’d like to see a post on my haiku training practices, even though they seem to change subtly from week to week lately. 😉

    • Shawna says:

      Never mind. It looks very hard. I just read an article about how you’re really supposed to count the sounds not the syllables. You’re so right; one would basically have to learn Japanese language and culture to do this properly. Kudos on your mastery!

      • Yousei Hime says:

        Shawna,
        You are a master flatterer. I accept ever word with fake humility. 😉

        Sincerely, I do not have this down at all. I do like what I’ve been writing lately, but I still feel like I have very far to go. I also don’t trust my own judgement on whether or not a haiku is good (for a haiku, not a poem). Some I’ve thought were good, I went back and read later. Reading them later, I thought, “Ugh. What were you thinking.” There are also many differences in haiku, even amongst Japanese writers.

        Anyway, my point is that it takes time and so much practice just to write well, at least I think so. I’ve read so many other haiku writer’s poems lately, and feel quite humbled (truly this time). Still, I’m delighted to keep trying because I know I’ll write one someday and it will sparkle brilliantly. That I’m really looking forward to. 😀

  3. Maria Tatham says:

    Yousei,
    Glad you’re a stickler and went back to do these! I like them.

  4. The first: exquisite. The second: fun. I’m in the California desert right now and the citrus trees have just come into bloom. Such a heady fragrance!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Victoria,
      I’m certain you’re warmer than we are. We started at 19F this morning, and by this afternoon we’ve reached 26F. Still I feel that spring is close. I’m looking forward to those fragrances.

  5. sandy says:

    I like the first, but love the humor in the second one.

  6. Ruth says:

    Love the crab apple blossoms especially, I can smell them too – reminder me of home

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Ruth,
      I never knew how good they smelled. I always associated them with the “crab” part of their name. I feel a bit guilty every year. Glad I could share this with you.

  7. kaykuala says:

    Great poems, Yousei! Brought back youthful memories of tumbling and diving in the fast flowing rivers with the neighbourhood kids.

    Hank

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hank,
      To be able to grow up with such waterholes available, that is a blessing. I didn’t, but found some a bit later in life. On a hot summer day, it’s an unbelievable feeling. Thanks for stopping by and sharing it with me.

  8. Raven says:

    These are lovely … as are your photos!

  9. brian miller says:

    ha the second is fun, i have made a shoe of my boat before…and love the visual and smell in the first…

  10. Very nice. I can see the child letting their shoe go downstream.

  11. slpmartin says:

    I enjoyed both of these…the first was my favorite of the two…probably because it brought back some childhood memories. 😉

    • Yousei Hime says:

      slpmartin,
      I don’t remember any crabapple trees around where I grew up. But at our first purchased home and the home we have here, we have had two near the entrance to the homes. They smell wonderful and look beautiful for that short period of time. I’ve come to love them beyond that period too because of the decent shade they offer and because they draw in birds through the fall and winter, lured by the remaining berries. Glad to share a memory with you. 🙂

  12. Hi Yousei, Enjoyed your poems. Congratulations on National Haiku Writing Month!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Ellen,
      Hi! I’m glad you like them. I’m also delighted I could share the month of haiku with you. It was a good experience for me. I had lots of practice writing haiku (which I needed), and two opportunities for recognition arose from that. We’ll see what happens. 😀

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