Another Unexpected Gift

A few days ago, my youngest wrote another poem. This one was for me. Since I’m a bit down on him (not doing schoolwork again), I thought I’d concentrate on the positive and share it with you. When the pressures of school are past, he’ll become a marvelous man.
One of the large trees knocked down by the win...

Down wooden steps, proceeding.
Cries are pleading, yes, needing.
Stopped, no, not bleeding.
Yes, it is misleading.
My mothers perceiving.
No, not has she been weaving.
Loved entirely.
Yet compelled to leave.
No not me.
Say only but he, twas not me.
For he ruptured so quietly he bleeds.
Stars guide you.
Gale winds shall not blind you.

But mind you….


About T A Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
This entry was posted in By My Children, Poetry, Reflections and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Another Unexpected Gift

  1. Thomas Davis says:

    May your son find poetry in his eyes and words in his heart forever and forever.

  2. lesliepaints says:

    FANTASTIC!!!!!! MORE!!!!!

  3. Shawna says:

    Awesome!!! This is so good. 🙂

    “My mothers perceiving.
    No, not has she been weaving.
    Loved entirely.
    Yet compelled to leave.
    No not me.
    Say only but he, twas not me.”

    Powerful words.

  4. Maria Tatham says:

    Yousei, I enjoyed reading this, knowing it is written by one of your boys.
    He has a gift, and I’m sure your work has taught him. The last lines are especially fine, and could be the work of a practiced, learned, mature poet.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you for the encouraging comment. I’m sharing all these comments with him, and he’s a little embarrassed. He’s pleased though. We’ve talked about each comment, and it’s made for fun conversation this evening. I’m sure he’s already thinking about when he might write something else.

  5. Chazinator says:

    Children will always appreciate the concern and care you show them, even they don’t respond to it. Your words show how much you care and your fears and dreams for his safety and his soul.

  6. yoga-adan says:

    intriguing, wouldn’t mind reading a self-commentary from him on what this means for him, nice, thanks yousei 😉

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Good idea. I’ll ask him. He actually asked me what I thought it meant. I told him, but he didn’t say whether I read it as he’d intended or not. I’ll see if he’s feeling cooperative. 😉

      • yoga-adan says:

        “feeling cooperative” is very important! 😉

        he may feel compelled to feel as you interpret it, or be afraid to go against a more obviously “expert” poet

        so, only a suggestion, i know how it is, we raised three, maybe suggest to him that sometimes the images we come up with, are suggestive, for us to learn from, and can even change in meaning, ie, he can feel free to brainstorm what they might mean, and then find again more/different meanings

        but either way, sounds like ya’ll have such a great relationship, best wishes 😉

  7. Claudia says:

    vivid imagery in this…i think it’s great when kids write poetry… and it’s also good to concentrate on the positive..

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you. You are right on both points. I love watching him grow, and I’m trying to do more of the second. Very best to you, and thank you for sharing this with me.

  8. margo roby says:

    Well, he certainly bears watching, doesn’t he, Yousei? Even a biased mother knows talent. I hope you continue posting his work. You can always slide one of his in with one of yours! And how marvelous that he lets you read and publish his work. Cling to that one, mom. ‘For he ruptured so quietly he bleeds.’ The power in that image… and I love the play with rhyme. More, please.


  9. Roxie says:

    Good for him! He’s written and finished a poem that could be turned into a spoken word piece. I remember when my daughter was a teen and I thought we had hit every road bump possible, but there was always one ahead, looming large. You’ll get through this, keep your eyes on compassion and keep treating him like a person and he’ll thank you one day…may be a loooong time in the future, but it’ll happen 😉

  10. brian miller says:

    nice…way to go man…a well penned poem…vivid imagery…

    just posted one today by my son as well…he’s a few years behind that…smiles.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I’ll definitely come read it. It’s great when they pick up that pen, isn’t it?

      • brian miller says:

        yes it is….i expect it with my oldest, it was def a treat with my youngest as that is not his forte….

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Ah…the parent who understands. I really appreciate that. You know, I never expected my youngest to take to writing as he has. He’s actually struggled with reading and writing for many years. Now he reads on his own, writes poetry that he WANTS me to post, and best of all (to me, anyway) he loves Shakespeare. I find that all rather miraculous. Whatever direction your children go, they’ll be amazing. (How can they not with such a fascinating dad and adored mother?)

  11. sandy says:

    Oh, that is just so sweet!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thanks. He’s a sweet boy, truly. They’re never perfect, of course that would be terrible. But I could use just a little better attitude more often. 😉

  12. Wonderful work. I see a bright future there.

  13. Raven says:

    How incredibly wonderful. Truly wonderful poem. How old is he?

    • Yousei Hime says:

      He’s fifteen going on sixteen, and it’s no sound of music tune. Good and bad days…driving me to distraction. I was never this kind of student and don’t understand it. *slaps my own cheeks*. Ok. Whining over. Thanks for sharing the poem with me.

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