NaHaiWriMo Day 7

I used this haiku as a starting point for today’s, the prompt being “grief.

Snowy Graves

Snowy Graves (Photo credit: elefanterosado)

bitter cold ankle-deep beside three new graves

About T A Hillin-Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
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20 Responses to NaHaiWriMo Day 7

  1. Thomas Davis says:

    This is really powerful, Yousei, and gets at the heart of what a haiku ought to be.

  2. yelena says:

    your haiku are some of the most evocative i ever read. thanks for sharing 🙂 and a lovely photo to match.

  3. The rhythm here is artful — three sets of stressed-unstressed-unstressed syllables, with “beside” in between a pair of them — strengthening the connection among the elements.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I wish I could claim the rhythm as art, but I was more in search of words to create my envisioned image than to create a rhythm. However, your comment has definitely given me something to consider, something ignored before now. I suspect we feel these things to an extent rather than plan them, because I sometimes discard phrases and words even though they are perfectly good for the image, discard because something just doesn’t feel/fit right. Happy to have you here. 🙂

  4. sandy says:

    Good poem and lovely photo.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Welcome back. Writing daily helps to improve. Wish I could claim the photo, but it’s a WP offering. Fit the writing though, and that was enough for me this time.

  5. sanjuktaa says:

    Lovely, Yousei. The image and the haiku are a perfect match.

  6. hedgewitch says:

    Great personification of the cold in all its forms.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Mama Zen,
      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I did visit you, but in trying to read through dVerse posts and catch up on other past posts, I didn’t take time to leave a comment. I really appreciate you doing so. I’ll leave a word or two next time for sure.

  7. lovely one…

    How are you?
    Do you like challenges?
    Share your talent with us by writing for our theme today, or share a random piece of poetry.

    Hope to see you soon!
    Best wishes.
    Happy Creative Writing,

  8. brian miller says:

    sobering…new graves are def sobering….

    • Yousei Hime says:

      It was and still is even two years after the incident. Loss of young lives is never an easy thing. It is something that should always be mourned, I think. Thank you for visiting and sharing this with me.

  9. slpmartin says:

    Excellent haiku for the photo…a fine poem IMHO.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I confess to looking up “IMHO.” I sincerely value your opinion. Both haiku have roots in an accident that took place two years ago, three teens died driving to school on a very icy, snowy morning. Hard to forget something like that when one has driving teenagers. Thank you for sharing it with me.

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