We Write Poems — Prompt 79

Sliced by light

Image by jcoterhals via Flickr

We Write Poems prompt for this week is to create a poem about something broken–event, item, concept . . . you name it.  So many possibilities for that one, but I’ve chosen some that have been on my mind all too much lately.

tuneful winds ~ broken willows make no safe bridge

crickets stilled ~ bare fingers catch every raindrop

even if you insist apples sliced darken

About these ads

About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Haiku, Poetry, Prompts, Senryu and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to We Write Poems — Prompt 79

  1. Snowflakes says:

    love these, happy new year.
    :)

  2. Natalie says:

    it reads like witty quote.

    a job well done.

  3. Morning says:

    wow, what a surprise,

    witty Haiku entry.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Morning,
      There are some very witty haiku, especially among the masters (like Basho, Issa and Buson). Theirs are much funnier and subtler any I’ve written. I’m glad you stopped in and commented. Look them up and come back again sometime.

  4. Kay Salady says:

    Extremely fascinating and proverbial haiku. Thank you!

  5. kaykuala says:

    You can’t see the trees for the forest. I suppose a haiku poet is like that. He can detect a falling tree by the sensuous sound of the falling tree. How nice Yousei!

    Hank

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hank,
      I’ll admit I had to read your comment a couple of times before it all sunk in (probably because I was up too late writing and too early to common sense). I’d like to be able to capture it all–forest, trees, falling tree, and any other participant in the moment. When I get to that point, maybe I’ll have a poem or two published. Thank you for your visit, comment, and encouragement. Happiness to you and yours this season.

  6. ajoops says:

    “even if you insist apples sliced darken”

    wow. i could taste, smell and feel the profoundness of that line. (:

  7. Jess says:

    that last one is fabulous. life and time are like that in general, insisting on moving forward

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Jess,
      Welcome. Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed them and appreciate your observations. I also enjoyed your post on the twins. It was a fascinating story and made a good poem too.

  8. Mabel Lee says:

    I really liked that last one. The crisp sounds, the concise image, the use of the word “darken.” Thanks, Yousei!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Mabel Lee,
      I like that one best too. I keep trying. When I first wrote these, I liked them all. Now, not so much. It’s going to be a long, long road to writing good haiku. Thanks for reading and commenting. It helps and means a lot to me.

  9. Irene says:

    Lovely feelings evoked of brokenness. I’m pretty useless for writing haikus, though the form was my first introduction to poetry back in school. You’re a haiku lark, Yousei!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Irene,
      And you are a charming flatterer. Keep ‘em coming, lol. Get your lights working? We’ve had high winds and power flickering, so ALL our lights may be going out. Tis the season. ;)

  10. nan says:

    Really interesting trio – I think I heard the tree falling in the forest. Nicely done!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      nan,
      You’ve uncovered one of the great mysteries! If a tree falls in the forest, a haiku poet hears it. ;) Thank you for stopping by and commenting in such a delightful way.

  11. ladynyo says:

    These are good! Sparse but deep enough.

    Lady Nyo

    • Yousei Hime says:

      ladynyo,
      Welcome and thank you. I’m really trying to write better haiku. There are so many out there, and honestly I love very few of them (including my own). I like a lot of them though. I’m not sure if I love any of these, but they are headed in the right direction. Enjoying are commonalities and banalities. Looking forward to even more. ;)

  12. slpmartin says:

    You engender some interesting emotions with these few line…a sense of futility in the last one.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      slpmartin, I tried. Glad something came through. Futility, that’s exactly what I was trying to communicate. It often falls on deaf ears. Thanks for allowing me to share these with you.

  13. wayne says:

    short with few words …telling it all is hard to do……well done and thanks for sharing

  14. Love the minimalist feel to this, a lot said in so few words. Lovely!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Daydreamertoo,
      Welcome and thank you for your visit and comment. If I can say it in a few and say it well, then I’m happy. Glad you liked it. Please stop by any time.

If you leave tracks, I'll find you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s