Writing Poetry for Fun–Dancing With Pikus

Eadweard Muybridge's phenakistoscope "A C...

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The latest prompt from We Write Poems is Dancing With Pikus.  Here are the instructions.

Write a piku. (a cross between a haiku and the first three numbers of pi.)

three lines
3 syllables Line 1
1 syllable Line 2
4 syllables Line 3

Next
choose one or two key words
find rhymes for them
slightly re-write the first piku

Here’s some examples:

Contentment Piku
A dog lies
flat
on his back. Snore.

Chronic Pain Piku
A man lies
flat
on his back. Sore.

You can find more examples at Tilly’s original prompt posting.  Rhyming dictionary in hand and courage in the other, I stepped out on the paper floor and waltzed.

Don’t decide
to
ignore me, please.
 
Don’t decide
to
smile and appease.
 
Don’t decide
to
snub, glare and freeze.
Don’t decide
to,
by small degrees,
 
Don’t decide
to . . .
accept, it frees.
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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
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29 Responses to Writing Poetry for Fun–Dancing With Pikus

  1. dezertsuz says:

    I’ve been reading quite a few of these and I see that most people use rhymes. I’m not all that fond of rhyming poetry, so I’m teaching it as free verse, following the format. It reminds me of chained Japanese verse forms, but even easier for children.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      There were a few examples of unrhymed variations on the linked site. I shy away from rhyming as well, but sometimes it is too fun to resist. Bravo teaching poetry!

  2. Pingback: A One Minute Piku « I'm Not A Verse

  3. Tilly Bud says:

    I think you did a great job with the pikus. I like the ellipsis on the last line, making us stop and think for a moment.

    Getting a whole poem out of them is hard; I haven’t managed it yet. Well done!

  4. brenda w says:

    Thanks for the visual, and the excellent waltzing piku. They make me want to go dancing.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brenda w,
      Wasn’t that visual great! I’ve been trying to add pictures when I don’t have any of my own to add. I just couldn’t resist this one. It’s the first moving one I’d seen in the Featured Images section. It does get the toes tapping. Glad you came by and left a note.

  5. suzicate says:

    I’ve never heard of pikus. You did a most excellent job with it!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      suzicate,
      I’d never heard of them either. What a clever idea, right? I hope you took a look at some of the others. They’re even better. Thanks for stopping in and leaving a smile.

  6. Annette says:

    Even though you found the last piku more difficult to get to, it definitely works. I like how your pikus all work together as a single piece. I took a much easier route. Here’s a toast to you! (and thanks for your comments on my pikus)

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Annette,
      Thank you. I wanted them to work together. It was difficult to build much meaning into a single one. I think pairs work well together. I read several on other’s sites that were paired and very nice. I appreciate your visit and your comment. Hope you’ll come by again for another toast or two.

  7. wayne says:

    you did really well with this form…..a form i found difficult….thanks for sharing

    • Yousei Hime says:

      wayne,
      Thank you. I found it difficult too. I’m not comfortable using rhyme. When I try it feels forced and plunky. I think these turned out ok. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  8. Mr. Walker says:

    Don’t decide
    to
    ignore my pleas…

    Your pikus
    did
    certainly please.

    Richard

  9. slpmartin says:

    Really enjoyed the pikus…and the explanation of the form.

  10. margo roby says:

    I like that you played with the punctuation to help convey meaning. And your ending works, even if it was harder to get to.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Margo,
      Yes, that ending felt a bit like a stumbled landing in gymnastics. I thought, “Darn! I didn’t stick it.” Still fun though. Thanks for stopping in.

  11. vivinfrance says:

    I love that you really did DANCE with the pikus – at least I hope you managed to talk your partner into it!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      vivinfrance,
      Well . . . the poetic rabbit and his fay muse danced, but my husband is tougher tougher to talk into. Thank you for your comment and visit.

  12. I like the underlying thread throughout the series of pikus….the “don’t decide” being the unchanging refrain of sorts.

    This was a tough exercise for me too, but with some nice results I think from everyone. 🙂

    -Nicole

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Nicole,
      Thank you for the visit and comment. This was definitely a stretch for me. I agree that everyone’s results were fun and with some pleasant surprises. I look forward to reading yours.

  13. Irene says:

    This gets a wry smile.:)

  14. Mary says:

    Very nice pikus. My favorites are your first two!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Mary,
      Thank you. I think the first few were easier, then the last became less smooth and more forced. Still a fun exercise overall. Thanks for the visit and comment. 🙂

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