O Human Child

Image by Beppie K via Flickr

Beneath your hands my breasts are tarnished earth;
they tremble not from passion but tilting
with memories, oceans of memory.
See those other reaching hands–wise-wrinkled,
familiar and cruel-gentle.  See them search
child nipples and vulva petals that cringe
and weep with inexperience.  Wild shouts,
betrayed, undulating screams roil under
the mantle for years and years . . . until now . . .
your hands plow the earth with conjugal rights.
Your lips baptize my lips with sacred fire.
Your tongue sips and sucks silence from my heart.
Your phallus fills my womb, living water.
Earth erupts and Dulcinea is free.

Response to Prompt #44 Make Your Own Wordle at We Write Poems.

[Using words chosen from the Gordon Lightfoot song titled Don Quixote.]


About T A Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
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33 Responses to Quixote

  1. blancaster99 says:

    I don’t know how I missed reading this before except to blame timing as I was finishing and defending my thesis about then. “Quixote” may be the most powerful of your works I’ve read, and now I will require myself to work back through those things that I have missed – well, maybe. Beautiful work.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thanks for reading it. I know how busy you are, so I won’t hold my breathe in wait for your reading the rest. When you have time and inclination is fine. 🙂

  2. brian miller says:

    i think you did move from violation to healing…and i have to wonder what i was thinking last time i read this…guess i missed out on what was happening in the first part…tough write…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you for reading it again. I’m not too surprised you missed that shift in earlier readings. Even I find it subtle, perhaps too subtle. I think it is much easier to write now than it would have been years ago. Distance of time is a wonderful purifier. Thank you again for stopping by and sharing.

  3. Anna :o] says:

    Disturbing and beautiful. A superb write.

    Anna :o]

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Anna :o],
      Thank you. I doubt there is a non-disturbing way to write about such a topic, but I tried to transition from tragic to healing. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  4. Wow!!! This takes my breath away you are so incredibly talented, my God I wish I would write like this.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you, but you write beautifully too. We just have different voices. I have many favorite singers–Andrea Bocelli, Jason Mraz, Annie Lennox, Imogene Heap, and others. Each has their own style and voice. That’s you and I. Beautiful and accomplished in different yet important ways. Hurray for us.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Why thank you, thank you very much. Ironically, my husband read this for the first time tonight and didn’t get it. It’s depressing when I have to explain poetry, even more so when its my own. Of course, he is an engineer. Thanks for visiting and commenting. 🙂

  5. Old Raven says:

    This is fine … and frightening. Very well done.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Old Raven,
      I want to thank you for your careful reading. You are one of the few to see the frightening aspect imbedded in the poem. It was a delicate thing to write about, but I am freer for it. Thank you for allowing me to share the writing with you.

  6. M.A.S says:

    Very skillful words to create these sensual images.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      gautami tripathy,
      Welcome to my blog. I hope you found the Quixote poem a good read as well as sensual. It was a tricky subject to write about tastefully, and I’m not sure if I succeeded. That’s ok. Writing is a wonderful process, and I want to become an expert in the process this year so I man write a perfect gem someday.

  7. pamela says:

    This is a raw, excellently written piece. I love how you wrote to this prompt.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you. The lyrics offered a wealth of words and even images to work with. This is one of those pieces that almost fell into place without me. Glad you enjoyed it.

  8. Julie says:

    Excellent work, Yousei. You do a good job of showing the emotion. The images are sharp, and I also like the earthiness. As for the tone and theme…very powerful!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you, thank you. Coming from a writer I so admire, your comments are encouraging. You are always welcome to offer any comments, advice and/or critique, you feel will help a rabbit grow. Hurry back. 🙂

  9. b says:

    Strong and uncomfortable.
    I,too, like the “tarnished earth” phrase.
    Those memories that keep wanting to be written. When I get them down, they never quite satisfy me.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I really appreciate your comments. They encouraged and inspired. I agree with you–whenever we write down something personal, it is elusive. It calms me to know you found something jarring but attractive in the piece. Thank you for coming by and please stop in again.

  10. brenda w says:

    Glad I stopped by, wow! This piece merits several reads. The sexual imagery surprised, delighted, and disturbed me. Well done! Anything that pulls the reader back to it is a success in my book. Intriguing bit of work here. Well executed.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brenda w,
      Thank you for your reading and commenting. I’m glad I’m not the only person drawn to things that disturb as well as delight. I think beauty that is imperfect is more attractive than perfection. Perhaps because we can relate to that. I appreciate your observations and encouragement. Hope you’ll visit again in the future.

  11. irene says:

    I think the last line is very captivating. It kind of jolted me, and the reference to Dulcinea draws us closer to the story. The earthy metaphor is daring and engaging. Yummy poem.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      It was one of those instances of inspiration. How am I going to end this poem? My brain flashed back to the source, and I knew what to do. Thank you so much for your observations. Readers’ responses feed and inspire the writer, and yours gave me a lot to chew on.

  12. slpmartin says:

    Wow..a very emotionally powered poem.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you. There is a lot of emotion behind it, so capturing emotion was easier than keeping the poem from being overwhelmed by emotion. So glad I could share it with you.

  13. I could just go on with a list of adjectives to describe this one: raw, elemental, powerful, well-worded (“tarnished earth” especially)… but overall, excellent work. You definitely took the song and completely reinvented it into your own, something primal and beautiful. Well done!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Joseph Harker,
      I am always delighted when you are able to stop by and comment. I’m never easily convinced to accept praise, but I will admit to a widening grin with the reading of each adjective you offered. The prompt was an alluring one, and I am a Lightfoot and Quixote (story not song) fan. I took the opportunity to write about something I’d wanted to get down for some time, something difficult, shaming, but necessary. I look forward to reading your take on the prompt.

  14. brian miller says:

    dang…sensual…so nicely done…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brian miller,
      Thank you. I have wanted to write about this for sometime, though like many stories, I don’t think this is the final telling. Thanks for sharing it with me.

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