safe island
inhabiting those thoughts are safe islands,
deep waters, thrashing with life discerning havens even
salmon seek to spawn amidst this night’s storm
[This is a cleave poem. Simple instructions are: read the left side, read the right side, then read them together as one. I’d love to hear what you think of my first attempt.]
for RWP Day 14
for Poetic Asides Day 14
for Jingle’s Thursday Poets’ Rally
Shiteki Na Usagi 
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this is spectacular. such a feast of perspective and contrast swimming beautifully. never heard of this form! wonderful…
Hey Cuzn,
It is an unusual form, but I like it. I like it for its challenge as much as anything. Thanks for stopping in. You should see me around more often in a few days. 😀
5 awards on the bottom,
enjoy some!
Dear Yousei Hime
Your cleave poem works well.
If you would like to workshop cleave poems come over to The Cleave Poetry Workshop.
http://cleavepoetryworkshop.com
Best wishes
Phuoc-Tan Diep
Phuoc-Tan Diep
Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. Writing the cleave poem was a challenge, but I enjoyed it and will be writing more in the future. I would certainly love to visit the workshop. Thank you for the invitation and for visiting my blog.
Hi, Yousei! This is fantastic! I would never have known it is a first attempt, because the form is beautiful. Wonderful work, cuz!
Have you read Fred Chappell’s book with poems “nested inside of poems?” I’m describing it too simply, because it’s an amazing book. It’s called “Shadow Box.” I use it to study his language and form, but it’s also a pleasure to read.
You are doing awesome work over here, Yousei. Please excuse me for being so slow. Life is sort of rough right now, but I will come back to read everything soon. I enjoy it very much!
Julie,
Welcome back. You’ve been busy. 😉 I hope things aren’t too rough. You’re in my thoughts often.
Glad you liked the cleave poem. I suspect that I’ll revisit this form. I liked it, and I like the challenge. I haven’t read Chappell’s book. I’ll have to try and find a copy. Thank you for your smile-filled words and the encouragement.
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I won’t be participating this week. Just too many things going on. Look for me next week.
fantabulousness!
Tacy C.
Thanks. This was an interesting form. Not as easy as it looked either. Hope things are going well for you.
Unique ! I never read something like this in my life ! The format of your poem is exceptional ! You’re highly creative I must say .
Although this test is not for you because we all know you’re already creative still for your readers I will like to share it –
Am I Creative? – Do you have the ability to generate new ideas, use imagination and make new decision?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/creative/creative_instructions.asp
Tasneem R,
Welcome back. I didn’t create this form, but it is an interesting format. Thank you for stopping by and sharing the link.
Interesting way to write a poem. Well done though. (:
Desiree
I thought it was an interesting form too. I’d never heard of it before reading the prompt. Thank you for your visit and comment.
Awesome! What an interesting way to write a poem. I like the way both sides read seperately. When considered as a whole, the 2nd and 3rd complete lines are outstanding! Thanks.
dustus,
Thanks. Been a tough weekend and your comment hits the spot. Keep on writing.
I’ve never read a cleave poem, but this is great! Wonderful poem!
Chainy,
Welcome. I’d never read a cleave poem or even heard of one until I read that prompt. Glad you enjoyed it. It was a challenge. Come visit anytime.
Brilliant!! I love how the three poems build on each other. Well done!
Maureen,
Welcome. Thank you for your visit and comment. Glad you liked the cleave poem. Hope you’ll visit again sometime.
nice one!!
rdl,
Glad you liked it. Thanks for your visits and comments. Have a great weekend.
I enjoy how the two sides of the poem work together. Very nice!
owlren,
Howdy girl. Things must have calmed down a bit at school. Glad to see you here. Thanks for the comment. I’m still fussing with this one, but I’d never tried the form before and wanted to get something on paper to work with, so to speak. Thanks again for stopping in.
awesome, now i’m gonna ave a go.
Kokot
Yay! Can’t wait to see it. Let me know when you post it.
two awards for you,
the most disciplined poet award,
the most popular award,
enjoy!
😉
Jingle
I am honored. A little amused too at the irony, since I’m still behind in my writing 2 poems a day. I’ll be over soon. Thank you
Fascinating! Reads well both ways. Love it! 🙂
Leslie
I’ve missed you and really missed visiting your site. Can’t wait for April’s poetry challenges to end just so I have time to visit again. Argh! I have to be missing some great painting. Be there soon.
I was unaware of this form – interesting. Received your mailing and look forward to seeing you on the 24th.
Robin
I hadn’t heard about it either. I like it, but it’s tricky to do well, I think. I’m looking forward to next weekend too.
Love it. The two fuse nicely. I really like that you did it with two very nice haiku.
James,
Thank you for the visit and compliment. I’m not totally satisfied with them, but I appreciate your approval. Thanks again for stopping in to read.
I wanna come to this safe Island, it sounds like a great place, brilliant xx
william,
Lol. Wishing I could find that island myself today. Thank you for your faithful visits and encouragement.
Excellently done! You kicked the prompt square in the behind. ^_^
Joseph
Lol. 😀 So glad you like it. I liked the challenge, but felt a slippery satisfaction in my poem. You’ve cheered me. Thanks.
awesome. 🙂
Trisha
Thanks. 😀
I have never seen this form of poetry before. I found it a little confusing at first. You have to remember I am easily confused. I do like it though, well done.
Lisa,
I’d never heard of this form either until it showed up on RWP as a prompt. I’m not surprised it was created. The concept is kind of alluring. I had trouble creating mine and am still not really satisfied with it. I’m not too surprised at the confusion. I originally posted it without the explanation. Then I thought, how many people will understand how it is suppose to be read? I didn’t at first. Anyway, thank you for struggling through it and leaving your comment. 🙂
I’ve never heard of a cleave poem, but interesting concept and you have executed it well.
~warriorpoetess
http://ithoughtitup.wordpress.com
warriorpoetess,
Thank you for visiting and commenting. I’d never heard of the form either until it showed up as a prompt for ReadWritePoetry. I’ll visit soon. Thank you for leaving your link.
i like it! very cool! 😀 i’ll try making one myself..cool! thanks for sharing! 😀
oinky,
Glad you liked it. Let me know when you write one. I’d love to read it. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
Hi Yousei, I think ‘amidst this night’s storm’ anchors the poem very well. Nice to meet you here and I’ll keep looking out for you in Napowrimo.
Irene,
Thanks. I felt that line might help pull it together. I’m still not really satisfied with it, but I admit to rushing it to post. I’m so far behind now. 😦 Thanks for the link to WWP. I am looking forward to it, and I was sorry to hear RWP was on its way out.
this is really cool. i saw someone elses cleave poem today. what a neat style. i have never tried it though i just might have to as it intrigues me.
brian,
Thank you. I like the form too, though I found it more difficult than I originally expected. Let me know when you write yours. I’d love to read it.
Cool! I like it!
Jacquie,
I’m glad you do. I’m not sure if I do. Feeling the pressure to catch up and didn’t spend the time polishing it that I normally would. Pretty good for a first attempt at the form though. It was a lot more difficult that I thought it would be. Thanks for the comment.
Tat was wonderful… i enjoyed ur thought of a safe island!
You can find mine here:
http://vishurocks.wordpress.com/
v!shu,
Thank you, and thank you for your visit as well. I’ll be over to read yours soon. 🙂
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A cleave poem, as I have read in the tag…:)
All of us want our thoughts to be on a safe island, isn’t it?
Quite hard to interpret, I would sound funny interpreting this one Yousei…:)
And yes, your comment in my last post has been a success…:)
You have missed a couple of my short stories…but I am happy you have noticed some improvements now…:)
Have a nice day!
Amity,
It was a hard poem to write, more difficult to coordinate than I thought. Thank you for your encouragement. Keep up the good story writing.
This haiku is nicely penned. You are getting really good at writing these. Also I am so sorry your messages aren’t coming through to my email address. Are you sure you are sending it to violatabor@hotmail.com. I do know how much you are thankful that I support you. It is really all my pleasure. I enjoy reading your posts.
Viola,
😀 I tried sending another email. Hopefully this one will reach you. Glad you liked the haiku.