RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 10

This — unexpected
celebration, each guest brought
gifts, retelling what
he gave — his life more brilliant
as we buried him.

for RWP Day 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

examining him —
silent, dead, empty — stirring
with accomplishment,
proud legacy, epitaph —
mine, abject failure

for Poetic Asides Day 10

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
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28 Responses to RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 10

  1. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    I can’t imagine what will be said after I die. Ha.. It could be interesting.

  2. heartshapedlies says:

    Amazing as usual! Both poems feel connected. The first one, especially, felt powerful and real. I liked the second one too 🙂

    It’s awesome that you’re taking on so many challenges btw 😀 I’m still SO behind w ScriptFrenzy (www.scriptfrenzy.org) and now that my exams are over, I’m lazy to even do simple things that were once procrastination-worthy! Aagh :I

  3. rdl says:

    hey girl, where’s 11 & 12. don’t make me do this by myself.

  4. Desiree says:

    Hiii there! An award for you! See it at; http://fuifduif.wordpress.com/2010/04/13/you-are-awesome/ 😀

    xoxx

  5. Desiree says:

    Nicely done!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Ji
      I’m not sure why, but many of your comments are going to my spam box. I think I’ve rescued them all. I always check my spam just in case. Good thing I do. Happy Monday to you too.

  6. lesliepaints says:

    Oh, I love that first poem! Memorable and worth jotting down and keeping in my pocket. Thanks, Yousei!

  7. Pingback: Tweets that mention RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 10 « Shiteki Na Usagi -- Topsy.com

  8. rdl says:

    nicely done! i’m slugging along too.

  9. Aw, this is touching… the two balance really well against each other, and there’s so many different emotions brimming at the surface. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Joseph,
      I was really pleased with how well these paired together. In fact, I’m not sure if the second will even stand alone well without the first. When you have time (and have recovered from your delightful evening 😉 ) please take a look at Day 6 and Day 8. I really like them, but would like another more objective (and more perceptive) eye to reflect on them. In your time. No hurry. Thanks. 😀

  10. Technobabe says:

    That’s a good way to look at someone’s death as an unexpected celebration and celebrate that life. Yes, I can see that in the telling, his life would shine more and more.

    The second one, what is this abject failure stuff???

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Technobabe,
      Lol. Glad you liked the first one. That very feeling carries into the second poem and is why failure is one of my greatest fears. That’s what the second poem was suppose to be–a horror poem. I don’t really do horror, so that was as close as I was willing to go. 🙂 Thank for sharing these with me.

  11. william says:

    yes I agree, the last line was the most powerful xx

  12. brian says:

    i like to think of death as a celebration…i hope when i pass there are many stories…nice write…

  13. Viola says:

    I like this line too. “he gave — his life more brilliant.” I like the old saying, “It is not how long we live our life that counts, but what we do with our life in the short time we have to live it, is what matters.”

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Viola,
      I agree and am glad you like the poem. That very feeling carries into the second poem and is why failure is one of my greatest fears. Thank for sharing these with me.

  14. Aaron Moman says:

    “his life more brilliant as we buried him” is a wonderful line. Well done.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Aaron Moman
      Welcome. Thank you for visiting and commenting. That last line made the poem, I think. It was a wonderful experience, one I will never forget. Thank you for sharing this with me.

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