RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 8

Space Telescope

Orbiting above the earth
outside the atmospheric distortion
you draw your power not from consequence of men
but from solar enlightenment,
a holiness.

Within your intricate workings,
collecting mythology constantly,
a mind traveling 5 miles per second,
the view of the universe
contracts,
condenses,
always within the parameters of
brighter and brighter
imagination,
and collides with my chromatic aberration of life.

Through your greater apertures
even greater magnitudes blind me,
and moonlight is a floodlight
burning my heart.

Only yesterday’s autumn,
in soul-deep desire
to break free of terra’s borders
I found this bridge to Elysium.

Your optic verse,
filled with immense light,
caught on the vast lenses of
your mind,
this part of you
slides into
something inside
of me,
and I tremble with pleasure.

You summoned
glittering Mizar
partnered with a spangled Alcor,
eternally swinging,
swaying in heavenly
Mardi Gras.

You directed
watery constellations,
which skittered six inches
from my thoughts,
myriad, colorful players
on your celestial stage.

From your refracted vision
Arachne loomed
taking a sip
from the Crater goblet.

Reflections of clever
minstrels strumming
on Lyra’s astral strings,
secret sonnets
revealed a pirate king
aboard the four-part Argo.

My dim orbs
listen to every word
and wonder.

Can this earth-bound
tenebrous Andromeda
love a March magnolia
whose roots are distant galaxies
of the Milky Way,
appointed star cluster?

You are
beyond my touch,
but
your starry poems
are my key
to escaping gravity.

Unlock me.

I will spill forth
on my own unobstructed travels
thru the Milky Way
but keep a gentle orbit
of passionate friendship,
double stars.

So much better
than lovers.

for RWP NaPoWriMo and for Poetic Asides Day 8

About these ads

About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 8

  1. Poets Rally says:

    way to go.

    welcome join poets rally today.

  2. Original and accomplished. I love the imagery here and the merging of art and science, which is the mark of the truly civilised mind. Sometimes we need a very big mirror to truly reflect our deepest thoughts. Thanks for sharing this, I enjoyed it immensely..

    • Yousei Hime says:

      James,
      Welcome back. Thank you so much for your observations. I’m grateful you enjoyed it enough to offer them. A very big mirror … I believe that’s what the blog is. Scary and exhilarating. Please visit again sometime.

  3. ayala says:

    A wonderful journey here.

  4. hedgewitch says:

    About midway through I started smiling in pure unadulterated pleasure at the images, and the craftsmanship with which you brought them alive. You paint a celestial myth of your own here, artfully and with grace, then give it just enough of a stab of reality at the end to make it gel perfectly. An excellent poem. My pleasure to read it.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      hedgewitch,
      Welcome and thank you for visiting, reading and especially commenting. Your words were very encouraging. This is one of my favorites, and when I doubt myself most, I pull this out and read it. To share it with you was an honor.

  5. Brendan says:

    Why is that poets are so enamored with astrophysics, neuroscience, oceanography? Something about the vatic brain in all of them, deducing the outward-, deep- and in-most secrets of the self, perhaps too gleaning what we seek and seek in lovers but can never quite find– glimmers of self-recognition perhaps, a healing bridge from I to Thou. Our poetic language drinks this stuff like milk. Thanks for this space oddity, drifting far out into the great dark womb of space. Loved it. – Brendan

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Brendan,
      Hmm, I thought about making a glib response, but then that vatic thing started to kick in. Just kidding. Actually I think poets (writers in general) are looking for new ways to express things, and science becomes an easy target for pilfering. I don’t always understand the science (which makes my writing seriously questionable) but I do love the connections that pop up in my brain when I’m learning about something. So glad you took the time to read and comment. Sharing it with you and reading your comments helps me grow.

    • Shawna says:

      Because we can’t touch, define, contain, or control it. And once we think we have, it changes.

  6. Pat Hatt says:

    Wow truly a powerful piece and a great trip thru the universe as well, nicely done.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Pat,
      I’m not certain of the power, but I really appreciate the energy in your response. I tried to create a poem with some constellation waypoints, for those who watch the stars. I don’t, at least not with any understanding, but I’d like to learn. Welcome and stop by again sometime.

  7. Shawna says:

    I really liked this section:

    “your starry poems
    are my key
    to escaping gravity.
    Unlock me.”

    I definitely picked up on the sexuality, but it seemed to work backward for me … fiery passion at first that faded into a crush and then a resigned friendship that would not die out, as stars tend to do. Loved it. :)

  8. Wow, I think this is the MOST sensual, teetering on erotic, wordcraft I’ve ever read regarding a ‘telescope’. HOT stuff, Yousei!!!!!!!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Buffalo gal
      You really think so? That’s what it was suppose to be, but I thought it came across more like adoration, a crush. Glad it worked better than I thought. :D. Fun to write, even with all the extra research. Thanks for the comment.

      • Yes, I REALLY think so! Okay, I adore Shakespeare because of his wordcraft–and that means all the multiple meanings and allusions on multiple levels. So, dear Yousei–since you’re NOT denying the sensual effort–hmmmm—YES–I surely ‘got’ all the sensual, sexual, erotic imagery. And I LOVE IT!!! Thank you!

        • Yousei Hime says:

          Buffalo Gal,
          Thanks bunches. I had my first seriously negative (angry) comment this weekend, and it has gotten to me. Yours is most, most, most welcome. Been doubting my skill, self, and rabbits in general. Thanks for the big smile and hug in this.

  9. dustus says:

    A privilege to have read this poem. The lines are quite powerful on many levels, from stars to myth to personal—all weaved into something extraordinary.

  10. Jingle says:

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/04/06/the-celebrate-poet-of-march-award-announcement-for-nominations/

    forget about it,
    it is within 6 hours,
    even if you are not on the list, you can still nominate up to 15 poets…any poets you like, not restricted in my list…

    sorry for overlooking you.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Jingle,
      Please don’t worry about awards for me. I love participating on Thursday, and honestly, I’m too busy this month writing for the two poem-a-day challenges. My best reward are your visits and the the visits that come my way because of your blog. See you there Thursday! :D

  11. Jingle says:

    beautiful,
    I have one at home,
    it costs more than 200 dollars, gifts for the kids this past Christmas..
    thank you for the excellence in poetry and participation in Thursday Rally!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Jingle,
      Glad you like the poem. We have one too that my father got for my children. Wish we’d had it out tonight, it is beautifully clear. sigh. See you again next Thursday. :)

  12. Lots of great imagery and phrases! Love the way your poems are taking us so many different places…

  13. ichabod says:

    Hi Yousei;

    I like it. What is really powerful in my mind is “unlock me” :)

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Sir Ichabod,
      Hurrah!!!! So glad to see you. Even happier that you read this particular poem. I had to research the subject quite a bit before I wrote it. I’m pleased with it, overall. There are some lines and images in it I still grin at. Thank you so much for visiting and commenting. Did you read the Camelot poem? I’d love to hear what you think of that one too. I think I called it My Lady’s Parting Song. Best of everything to you, my friend.

  14. slpmartin says:

    Such fascinating last two llines…how they influenced the whole reading of the poem…excellent poem…will visit when I get back form vacation.

  15. Viola says:

    It is different from your other poems that I have read, but I believe one should take their wings and fly to a higher level and you have done that with penning this poem. Nicely done my friend.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Viola,
      Yes, it is different. I had to do quite a bit of reading on astronomy before I was comfortable writing it. Glad you liked it. Thank you for the visit and comment. :)

  16. william says:

    I almost felt as if the telescope was real, love looking through mine, fantastic journey xxx

    • Yousei Hime says:

      william,
      I was hoping a stargazer would read this. We have a telescope that was a gift from my father. We haven’t used it much, but after researching and writing this poem, I’m really thinking about taking some time to do it. Thank you for sharing this with me.

  17. Technobabe says:

    Wow, so much better than lovers. And encompassing the cosmos and infinite power. Very strong showing glimpses into the earthly view.

  18. Tacy says:

    Beautiful masterpiece. Absolutely gorgeous in every single way. In EVERY way.

  19. brian says:

    very nice…i was initially lost in this but you brought it to a fine point…love those friends…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Brian,
      I’m glad it salvaged itself. I was afraid there were too many technical terms in it. Glad you could make enough sense out of it to enjoy it. Thanks for your patient reading and helpful comment.

      • brian says:

        ok over a year later and looking at it with fresh eyes and perhaps a bit more patience…smiles…i appreciate the detail in the thoughts on the space telescope and the turn to personal there at the end as well…and smile at that last little line…

        • Yousei Hime says:

          brian,
          Now you have me (editor and longing-to-improve me) wanting to know what you didn’t like. Come on, don’t leave me hanging! You can email me if you’d rather. I sincerely would like to know where I lose you as a reader and why you think that is. If there are crafting/writing issues, point those out as well. So glad you had the patience to trudge through it this time around. Even happier that we’ve been acquainted for over a year now. Here’s to looking at one another even more often through poetry’s lens.

  20. Pingback: Tweets that mention RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 8 « Shiteki Na Usagi -- Topsy.com

If you leave tracks, I'll find you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s