RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 5


How can anyone be so perfect?
I want to dislike her, but she is irresistible —
Yumiko, a dark iris, tall and straight.
She is a single phrase in bold
upon a white page.

From the first
she draws the eye —
her face distinct,
gently framed
by hair of dark, dark silk
and my favorite floral scent.
There is grace and purpose
in each small thing
she does
and in the way
it is done. 

There is a rhythm in her speech.
Each lilting word
from cherry blossom lips
carries a soul’s meaning.
Sometimes I understand.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter.
It is her eyes —
what she sees,
what she watches —
her sight pulls you back,
and somehow
the meaning is clear.

I’ve never seen her
start a conversation
but I’ve certainly seen her end some.
Mostly she’s polite
but even her barbs are sweet
with a strength of reason,
undeniable vision,
beauty, both wonderful and terrifying.

She is lover and warrior,
to all and to none.
She stands alone
with a bow loosely grasped
waiting her turn
at the target.
I’ve never seen her miss.

She is my twin.

[for RWP NaPoWriMo Day 5]



Rhyme — internal, end, beginning,
masculine, feminine,  (sexist?),
double, triple,
assonance, consonance, dissonance
slant, near, oblique, off, para-
Oh! for a scheme

Rhythm — meter, feet, syllables, accents,
duple, trochee, iamb, dactyl, anapest,
sprung and free (sounds good to me)

Imagery — tropes, analogy, metaphor, simile,
clusters and patterns, allegory, personification,
apostrophe, synecdoche,
repetition, repetition, repetition

Forms — sonnet, ballad, haiku, villanelle, abstract, shaped, limerick, free verse, tanka, ode, blues, cinquain, elegy, heroic, narrative, nursery rhyme,


Forget it.  I’m just writing a simple poem.

[for Poetic Asides Day 5]

also for Monday Poetry Train Revisited


About T A Smith

Just one of the literacy scholars on this site who wants to explore writing in all its complexities.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 5

  1. Desiree says:

    I enjoyed reading this!

  2. Excellent! Definitely sounds like the kind of person I would want to know, but of course, as the whole exercise was to personify yourself, I suppose I already do. 🙂

  3. Me got awards and dedication for you!
    Hope you likey!
    SPRING Award Part One
    SPRING Award Part Two

  4. Julie says:

    I LOVE Yumiko! I want to BE Yumiko! Then I got to the last line, and it all made perfect sense. Of course, Yumiko is your twin (or you), and you are both gorgeous.

    There are some awesome lines in here, Yousei. My absolute favorite is “She is a single phrase in bold/ upon a white page.” But it is all fantastic. I love the rhythm in her speech, the way she can end a conversation, and shoot…everything about her. Wonderful work!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Cuzn J
      Your comment has left me with a cat-cream grin. I really enjoyed putting that poem together, though I struggled with how to handle the prompt at first. I went name hunting. When I found her name, I saw her. As I wrote, she became more and more clear. Glad you like it and really glad you came by.

  5. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    You have been on a roll lately. That spring fever must have you in its grip. Carry on.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Yes, I’ve been on a roll. I do believe I’m out of steam. I couldn’t stay up and write and post last night. I slept a huge chunk of the morning away–to many late nights in a row. I may have as many as four posts today. LOL. Thanks for visiting and commenting so faithfully.

  6. pttyann says:

    Yes “wonderful” I truly enjoyed the read. 😀

  7. Technobabe says:

    It is like you drank power and fury and it is coming out in words. A strength is in your writing I did not see before.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      I am woman, hear me roar. I am poet, watch me write! (Heehee) Thanks for the visit and the comment. I do believe I see a little spring growth on this poet.

  8. william says:

    your doing a grand job babe im loving this and u really are getting on well xx

  9. Desiree says:

    Wow, this is fantastic! Keep it up!

  10. Viola says:

    WOW, Oh WOW! I am clapping my hands and doing my happy dance in honor of this awesome, perfect, outstanding, amazing poem. Did I leave anything out? Although the whole poem was excellent, the last two lines I simply love. “I never seen her miss. She is my twin.” You Go Girl!

  11. tillybud says:

    I love this:

    She is a single phrase in bold
    upon a white page.


  12. Derrick says:

    I decided to pop over from Joseph’s place and thoroughly enjoyed your dark iris. Who wouldn’t be attracted?!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you so much for following me over from Joseph’s place. Isn’t he amazing? He inspires me and adds a green hue to my cheeks. I am so glad you enjoyed the poem. Do hope you’ll come back from time to time.

  13. Iself says:

    Loved the portrait of Yumiko!

  14. blissbait says:

    WOWOW!!! LO LO LOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE these. Yousei, just gorgeous and fun, fun, fun! Thank You and Cheers and Namaste. 🙂

    • Yousei Hime says:

      You are sending me off to bed with smiles. So glad yours is my last comment for the night. Even happier that you like the poems. There will be two every day. Read whenever you have a chance, wait til the end of the month and read them all–whatever you like. 😀 Just glad I get to share them with you. Sweet dreams.

  15. Love this:
    “She is lover and warrior,
    to all and to none.”

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Thank you for coming by and leaving a note. I’m glad you like that part. I do too. Somehow, I knew it had to stay in. I’ll stop by your place soon. 🙂

  16. Rallentanda says:

    Perfection is unattractive….barbs are meant to sting!

  17. brian says:

    she is my twin…smiles. wonderful.

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