RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 4

gently cracked, pour
out golden ovum . . . seed of
imagination

[for RWP NaPoWriMo Day 4]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once Upon That Time

I never liked me much
disappointment adorned
     with freckles
          straight hair
               freshly chewed nails
and
     a bit of chub

Oh, I could perform
sing
     “I’ll Fly Away” and “Close To You”
play
     Chopin, Bach, and Gershwin
draw
     unicorns and elves
complete
    assignments  — child of teachers
score well
    on tests — just enough competitive spirit

But
my choices sucked:
     blame my sex drive on the grandfather who groped me?
          get heartbreak-serious with a guy fresh from a breakup?
               drink away the pain for six months?
                    look for love with bravery from a bottle?
       again and again?
                at grad school too?  — forget the good-student qualities 

But then that time
following an all night party
beer, wine, 7&7
then
pounding head
gut-wrenching nausea
(wishing I would vomit something, especially memories)
and a vague recollection
of sex
with the boss from Pizza Hut

Decision:
I was beyond
hope

skipped church
though I
was today’s
soloist

quit children’s choir
teach?
without
self
respect

curled up
alone
unmade bed
surrounded by regret
     upon regret
          upon regret
and called
that asshole — part of the love search
hoping for . . .

At first meeting
he had enough
predatory instinct
to charm
the weak and desperate
to fuck and discard
quickly and efficiently
(how naïve)
choices sucked
called him
with last bit of hope

You were there
You heard me weeping
You kept him from hanging up
You came and found me
Embraced me
Listened to all those disappointments
all night, through the sobs
and
loved me
anyway
thank God

[for Poetic Asides Day 4]

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Poetry, Prompts, Senryu and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

50 Responses to RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 4

  1. Tacy says:

    Thanks!!!!!! 😀

  2. Tacy says:

    😀 Thanks. Yeah, if it’s any kind of art, she will not take offense. I bet she would have let me read it anyway. 😀 No worries, don’t feel bad. 😀

  3. jruthkelly says:

    pain. here.
    hope. here. healing, too. you sift through so much, much to make a person permanently closed up but you come out grasping the hand of love. there’s nothing more beautiful. keep on…
    love to you…

  4. Tacy says:

    Okay. Don’t worry, it’s all good. 😀

  5. Tacy says:

    I just happened to drop by, read this, and say what a good poem it is. No need to apologize.

  6. Tacy says:

    No, Yousei, don’t edit your blog because of me!

  7. rdl says:

    great poem!!

  8. Stan Ski says:

    Life’s rich tapestry often has its flaws – we learn from our mistakes as well as the mistakes of others. Personally, I kind of set out each day to make a mistake or two, in order to learn as much as I can.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Stan Ski,
      Lol. Well I’m fairly certain you don’t set out to make those kinds of mistakes. Thanks for visiting and commenting in such a cheering fashion. Glad to have you here.

  9. lesliepaints says:

    I am totally impressed with both of these, Yousei. The second one makes me keep reading. You say just enough to make me want to read the next line and the next, like a good book!

  10. Tacy says:

    Oh, Wow, Yousei, this is very powerful. I had no idea, I mean, I never even imagined such pain filling your life before God.
    Usually it is music, but I felt this poem, and it made me cry.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Tacy,
      Please apologize to your Mom for me. I wasn’t thinking about you when I posted this or I would have warned you to get permission first. I will be writing a lot of different kinds of poetry this month. You should have your mother read it first.

      I appreciate your comment even though I feel guilty about you reading this. Life can be very hard and very sad. We make it even worse when we make bad decisions. Always try to make wise decisions, even when they war against your feelings.

  11. william says:

    yes I agree with the others and also agree with what u said earlier, the haiku is a form of poetry, so lets say ur extention is superb xx

  12. suzicate says:

    soul searching, raw…pain and honesty and lessons learned. That kind of soul searching is cathartic and self revealing. I’m glad you have found that you are worthy…that alone brings tremendous peace. thanks for sharing.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      suzicate
      Thank you for your insightful comment. As difficult as some of these poems are to write, they are very good for me–on many different levels. Are you writing for RWP and/or Poetic Asides? Leave me a link. I’d love to read some.

  13. Viola says:

    Thank you sweetie, but you don’t have to apologize to me. I do understand, and you didn’t take away from the message. It is still the same message with fewer words. That is why us writers need our work edited, we do tend to get long winded. LOL and I am used to my work being edited. Your poetry my friend will help you to heal and to keep growing, but at the same time it will help others. You are so brave, and I am praying for you.

  14. Mama Zen says:

    Beautifully done.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Mama Zen,
      Thank you so much for your kind comment and your visit. Writing two prompted poems a day is a challenge, but a delightful one. I’ll be by to visit soon.

  15. Hi, Yousei. Just discovered your blog. And I look forward to following it during April. I also invite you to check out my work at http://www.gregoconnell.com (Find NaPoWriMo 2010 in the top menu bar) – Greg =)

  16. Viola says:

    My beautiful friend, your story poem this morning has really touched my heart, because it brought back to my mind some of my favorite verses in the Bible. It doesn’t matter how big or small our sins are as young people or adults, in God’s eyes “SIN IS SIN. . . . The beauty of it all is, Jesus doesn’t care what sins we have committed, all He cares about is that we come to Him.

    I would like to say, every day in all of your posts no matter what the subject is, I see God’s light shining through you. In every word I read coming from you, I can feel the love you have for the Lord. We all express our love for Jesus in many different ways, and you do that so truthfully, boldly, honestly, and beautifully. You have taken your mistakes and learned from them, and God is using you to help so many people who are still living in pain, sorrow, and are suffering badly because they cannot let go of their past, and ask God’s forgiveness, and then forgive themselves. You see sweetie good things do come from bad things. You are a living testimony to that, and I am so proud of you for sharing your stories so they can touch others life. May God bless you in the work you are doing for Him. I am so sorry for this very long write, but I feel in my spirit God wanted me to write this message to you. I do not question God, so I just do what I feel He wants me to do.

    Also sweetie, my 4 sisters and I had a couple of uncles who tried to grope us. Two of my sisters were raped. As a child I was hell on wheels so after their first time trying to grope me they had no desire to try again. I had no mercy on them, if you get my drift. LOL Told you that I was Hell On Wheels.

    John 8:7 Those without sin may cast the first stone.
    Romans 3: 10 There is none righteous, no not one.
    Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Viola,
      First, I apologize for abbreviating your comment. I want you to know I read the whole post, and I am thankful for the heart behind it. Second, I am touched you see my poetry as a ministry. I had thought it only a tool for healing and growing me. Thank you for your continued encouragement.

  17. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    Thank God indeed. I am finding your longer poems very painful, moving.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Lisa,
      Not much joy in writing these either, except in seeing them finished and roughly well-done. I hope they’re well written. Sorry they are painful to you, but I appreciate your sharing them with me.

  18. brian miller says:

    nice. raw and real and i hope it is not all true. but if so then we are cut from some very similar cloth. loved this one.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brian miller,
      I suspect a lot of us are wearing similar clothing, and just don’t realize it. Glad you liked the poems. Thanks for your continued visits and encouraging comments.

  19. Drea says:

    This is wonderful.

  20. Amity says:

    We always have God as the last resort! Why? We are only human, and God is always there for us even when we are His prodigal children!

    A very touching poem Yousei!

    I missed yah, why aren’t you visiting me na!

    Hugs… ^.^

    Amity

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Amity,
      Nice of you to stop by. I haven’t seen you much lately. Of course, I haven’t been visiting many sites either. Life keeps interrupting, and I am only now getting back into daily blogging. Glad you came by. I’ll visit soon.

  21. slpmartin says:

    Wow…the once upon a time was so raw and powerful…I was surprised by it but loved its purity of tone.

  22. souldose says:

    I’ve never read a poem like this from you before, it had me glued and I read 3 times because I really enjoyed it, thank you my friend

  23. You are really taking the reader on an emotional journey with these latest poems! Powerful stuff…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Jacquie,
      Yes, well . . . I’m along for the ride as well. Hopefully tomorrow’s prompts will lead me in different directions. Glad you’re here for the journey. Easier with friends, right? 🙂

  24. Sable says:

    Like the rawness and honesty of Once Upon That Time…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Sable,
      Welcome. Thank you for your visit and your comment. If you have a blog or have posted poems of your own, I’d love to read some. Send me a link or post it in my comments. I hope you’ll stop by again. I appreciate your evaluations of my writing.

  25. rallentanda says:

    Well..this is great. I really enjoyed reading this.It is honest
    and has clarity. The language is not bound in artifice and guile to impress. Well done and I must read more of your work.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      rallentanda
      Welcome. Thanks you for your visit and your comments. I appreciate the evaluation and encouragement. If you have a blog or have posted poems of your own, I’d love to read some, returning the favor of your visit. I look forward to more of your comments.

  26. Technobabe says:

    The haiku egg produced imagination instead of yolk. Good one.

    You made some mistakes and someone saw the real you and loved you. Some people have the capacity to know all about us and love us anyway, that is what love is about. You are writing some deep and important posts.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Technobabe,
      Thanks. You know, it means a lot to me to know you’re one of the first to read these, even at this late hour. I liked the haiku too. The second one . . . I debated on even writing it, but I really think it all needed to pour out. It’s easier to forgive when seeing it as another person. That’s what storytelling can do. Thanks for your encouragement.

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