RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 1

two lights, the gates
of Istanbul —
dareka no negai ga kanau koro —
caravanserai,
beneath a Phrygian sky

for Read Write Poem NaPoWriMo Day 1

Dareka no Negai ga Kanau Koro — translates as “when someone’s wish comes true”

caravanserai — is roadside inn where travelers could rest and recover from the day’s journey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

awake to find no
indented pillow, no scent . . .
bereft, without you

for Poetic Asides Day 1

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Free Verse, Poetry, Prompts, Senryu and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to RWP NaPoWriMo/Poetic Asides Day 1

  1. jruthkelly says:

    i’m a fan of the word “bereft” and you use it wonderfully here. great spill…wow…i have some catching up to do!!! oxo…

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Cuzn R,
      “Bereft” is a great word, little enough used it is still full of meaning. Look forward to seeing what you think of my latest outpourings. 😀

  2. slpmartin says:

    The image of the indent in the pillow with no scent was just brilliant…very powerful….kudos!

  3. Someone was listening to Loreena McKennitt. 😉

    • Ha, and I just noticed you tagged her in the poem as well. I saw her in concert when she was on the tour for Ancient Muse, the three you mentioned are all amazing live. She’s been one of my favorite musicians since… man, almost fifteen years now?

      • Yousei Hime says:

        Joseph,
        You’ve made me jealous again. I would love to see her in concert. I saw a live performance on tv, but I know that is not the same. I adore her music (in part because my husband hates it.) I’ve been following her for years as well. One of my favorite things about her is her inclusions of literature based songs on every album. The song from the Tempest and of course, The Lady of Shalott are my favorites. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Please feel free to offer suggestions or more pointed comments on the poetry. I’m only in my first year writing online and have a deep respect for your abilities, taste and experience.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Joseph,
      As all intelligent and tasteful people do. 😉

  4. william says:

    this was as always well written Yousei, small sentences with huge meanings, well done xx

    • Yousei Hime says:

      william,
      I like what you said. It is what I try to do in my haiku especially, but really, in all my writing–small sentences with huge meanings. And of course, a good strong image is key in that kind of writing. Thank you for your encouragement.

  5. something very keen and sharp packed into such few words. i think its the word ‘bereft’ that does it, good choice. every word is necessary and powerful. i like 🙂

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Otto,
      You’re absolutely right. When I finally thought of “bereft” I realized it would be the pivotal word in the poem. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your insightful comment.

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  8. Viola says:

    Sooooooooooo beautiful

  9. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    I like the haiku. I guess I can identify with it since I have lived the scene you painted.

  10. brian says:

    wow…the indented pillow…rings so lonely.

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