Haiku for A Bowl of Random Words

grey dove’s coo lingers
across a shelter of pines
dawn unravels night

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for A Bowl of Random Words

also for Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Haiku, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to Haiku for A Bowl of Random Words

  1. owlren says:

    I just love the last line! “Unravels” is such a perfect word choice.

  2. Hey… thought this coo ku needed another comment! It’s good! ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. fivereflections says:

    i can imagine the sleepy nocturnal creatures dozing, while the daytime creatures yawning…

    creative thoughts – thanks for sharing

    • Yousei Hime says:

      fivereflections,
      Thank you for your visit and for sharing your thoughts on this haiku. It is still a sleepy time of year, yet in a few more days Spring will waken us all. Visit again soon.

  4. Jennifer says:

    Wonderful!

  5. laurenmichelleotheim says:

    I nominated you for a Sunshine Award!
    http://laurenmichelleotheim.wordpress.com/category/poetry/

  6. laurenmichelleotheim says:

    wow, this is stunning. So simple yet delicate.
    I could just close my eyes and see the sun peaking out from behind the mountains and trees.

    http://laurenmichelleotheim.wordpress.com/category/poetry/

  7. megzone says:

    wow…now thats a beauty…
    i could literally picturise a grey dove coo-ing ๐Ÿ™‚
    awww..
    that was swell…
    i have never tried a hand at Haiku..
    but ur rendition inpspires me

    you could check out my Thursday Rally poem too..
    http://megzone.wordpress.com

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hi megzone,
      Thank you for visiting and commenting. So glad you like the haiku. I hope you will give them a try. I’ll stop by and check out your poem too. Thanks for the invitation.

  8. Julie says:

    Hey, Cuz! Well, I hope you don’t mind if I say it again. That last line is fantabulous! (I’m trying to think of new adjectives to describe what I love. I’ve used excellent and awesome too many times). But I’ve also got to put in a vote for the shelter of pine trees. I can smell it now…and feel the warmth while listening to the dove. Beautiful image!

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hey CuzJ,
      Glad you like the haiku. I’m with you on finding new words. I use lovely, beautiful, and delightful all the time. Ok, I’m breaking out the thesaurus today. We have pine trees all around our property. In the nearby state park, my favorite spot is a section of pines–dark, cozy and inviting. Thanks for stopping by. ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. sweetiegirlz says:

    I find I’m still trying to guess the Picture from your words! On this one I have the picture in my head

  10. Susan says:

    Ha,I can hear a dove fluttering its wings in this season.And yes the last line is very beautiful.

  11. Sandy says:

    I love this poem, and that last line is great.

  12. Doraz says:

    Very clever. Very fun. Enjoyed it! Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Doraz,
      Thanks. Did you visit Mother Sparrow’s Bowl of Random Words site? It is fascinating how many different poems can come from the same five words. Happy you stopped by! ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. brian miller says:

    love that last line…unravels is such a cool word. nominated you for the poets rally award in my post for tonight.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Hi brian!
      You know, I like that last line too. When the idea occured to me, the inner me was going, “Ooooh, yeah! That’s cool. Yeah, write that. Write that.” Goofy girl. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be by your blog soon.

  14. william says:

    Another winner, well constructed, well written u my friend are an expert at Haiku ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yousei Hime says:

      william,
      Thank you. You put me to blush. I don’t think a good haiku is constructed. I think it is found. And I know a great one takes years of search. Thank you for your visit and kind words. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. Technobabe says:

    Wow, I so like your “dawn unravels night”!!
    I don’t read your haiku first. I go to Bowl of Random Words and find the words and then write and then come back to read yours. I think you must be a haiku master or a black belt of haiku???

    What I wrote:
    As my thoughts unravel
    My heart lingers on your face
    The memory of you in rest
    beneath the shelter of pines
    A dove watching on the crest

    This is so fun. Thank you for introducing the random word thingy to me. Smile.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Technobabe,
      I laughed out loud when I read your “black belt” line. Thanks, but the haiku belt is still pretty pale on this bunny. I do the same thing as you and use the words before reading anyone else’s poem. I love seeing what I can do with those few simple words. Your poem is great. I like how thoughts and heart are separated, their actions differing. The words create a clear picture resonating with emotion. Thanks for putting it in your comment. Let’s keep having random fun together. ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Dearest Yousei,
    You create the most amazing Haiku.
    You are such an inspiration.
    I am truly impressed.
    Thank you so much for sharing.

    hugs
    shakira
    http://justmeshakirack.blogspot.com

    • Yousei Hime says:

      shakira,
      You are so sweet. I read some of your haiku, and you really are getting a feel for them. I look forward to your visits and comments. Thanks for stopping by. ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. Robin Mullet says:

    Haiku is still such a challenge for me. I envy those who can consistently create the form. And by the way, doves here aren’t cooing, they are shivering!!:-)

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Robin,
      Thank you for the complement. I keep working at haiku, and every so often one falls together just right. Shivering doves . . . poor things. I shiver with them and keep eagerly anticipating warmer, brighter days. Thanks for stopping by. ๐Ÿ˜€

  18. Lisa at Greenbow says:

    what ever the muse I just love this haiku. It won’t be long and the Mourning doves will be cooing along with the others during the predawn chorus.

  19. dustus says:

    Yousei, you compose some excellent, inventive haiku. I’m enjoying your blog.
    Cheers.
    Adam

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Adam,
      Welcome! Thank you for visiting and commenting. I am honored by your words. Haiku is my favorite form, and I’m pleased you found this poem so worthy. Do come back and read more some time. I look forward to visiting your blog again soon.

  20. Sepiru Chris says:

    Dear Yousei Hime,

    First, wow.

    Wonderful haiku.

    The first line conveys the experience of a solitary dove cooing in the morning, but, what really is dazzling, to me, is that third line.

    dawn unravels night

    incorporated fantastic imagery.

    Well met, freckled Himei from MI (I went looking for your bio and read your interview…I am heading to Japan for a couple of weeks in a couple of weeks…only to find out that you are freckled and from MI. How startlingly wonderful!).

    Secondly, thank you very much for your comment over at my little patch of e-clay. Your visit, and your comment, are very much appreciated.

    May the pixellated road rise up to meet your e-feet.

    Tschuess,
    Chris

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Sepiru Chris,
      Thank you for returning the visit and comment so quickly. I enjoyed my visit at your “patch of e-clay,” I adore the name of your blog (and the meanings it vibrates). Most importantly, I am green several weeks early from reading about your upcoming trip. I look forward to the posts that follow that trip, and to getting to know you and your blog better. You are welcome here any time. ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. jingle says:

    first place,
    amazing Haiku…

    thank U for the hard work and great shout out to fresh poets!
    ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Yousei Hime says:

      jingle,
      Glad you liked the haiku. It was my pleasure visiting all your fresh poets. Once again you found some really good ones. I’m happy to pass on the encouragement I got to other new and existing bloggers. C U Soon.

  22. lesliepaints says:

    Oh, this is vivid for me.I have a pair of mourning doves and love to listen to them on summer mornings.

  23. blissbait says:

    I read this and I smell the woods. I can feel the stillness and that most wonderful damp in the air. Thank You for the BEAUTIFUL mini-vacation. Cheers and Namaste. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Blissbeam,
      Good day. ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m still grinning at having you back. Thank you for your reading of the haiku. Mother sparrow, who hosts A Bowl of Random Words, puts out some irresistible words. You should stop by and see how many different poems are created from five words. Thanks for shining my way today. ๐Ÿ™‚

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