The River

sunrise
ferries people
from town to town ever
flowing on to eternity
and night

———————–

Children’s Author David L. Harrison’s Blog Connecting the Dots
For the January prompt:  time

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
This entry was posted in Cinquain, Poetry, Prompts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to The River

  1. I really love how you make words “jump happily” !
    You have really good vocabularies.
    Again, you are my inspiration.
    hugs
    shakira

    • Yousei Hime says:

      shakira,
      Welcome back. Thank you for taking the time to look through older posts and poems. Roget’s Thesaurus is one of my favorite writing tools and it boosts the vocabulary. 🙂 Keep up your writing!

  2. This is a lovely piece of writing. 🙂

  3. kseverny says:

    A short solid statement.
    Some of the best poems have this kind of potency.
    Nice work

  4. lesliepaints says:

    I like how the last line “and night” ends this poem abruptly like the sun’s last dip below the horizon……

  5. catgirlslovehaiku says:

    Love this poem. So short, yet fathoms deep. I tried my hand at writing a haiku in response to the word “time” and submitted it to David L. Harrison’s blog.

    hands of the clock
    move with a ticking rhythm –
    the room is still

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Nekochan,
      I like that!!!! Time moves and all else is still. 🙂

      • catgirlslovehaiku says:

        Exactly! I had this image of being alone in a room brightly lit with fluorescent light, like a police station interrogation room. And the only sound you can hear is the sound of the wall clock that ticks as the hands move. The clock looks like one of those wall clocks that they put in the classrooms in Junior High school. It’s amazing the elaborate picture that just one word can paint in your mind.

        Glad you saw the imagery in this haiku.

  6. Interesting poetic form (2-4-6-8-2) you used for The River. Pardon my ignorance — what is its origin? Maybe a derivation of Tanka?

    Thanks for visiting my blog.

    Regards.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Carlos,
      Thank you for returning the visit. I enjoyed my visit to your blog. I will certainly be back.

      This form of cinquain is attributed to the poet Adelaide Crapsey, with five unrhymed lines of, respectively, two, four, six, eight, and two syllables. You are right, it was inspired by the tanka. Quintain, quintet, and pentastich, all having five lines, are also called cinquain.

  7. Amity says:

    sorry for the typos….tyvm…:)

  8. Amity says:

    …for that is life Yousei…like a turning of the wheel, ferrying…

    you could have written this instantly…wish i could to write the way you do…

    have a beautiful Sunday Yousei!

    yours,

    Amity

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Amity,
      Silly, you write well, and will write better the more you write. One thing I’ve had to work on is my unwillingness to revise. Sometimes, rarely, a poem is just the way I want it when first written. Most of the time, I can make it much better if I am just willing to revise. You have a wonderful day too.

  9. Tacy says:

    I love it! So cool! I really like how cleansing sunrise is. I might put some poetry up on my site, too. Check it out! 😀

  10. Technobabe says:

    These days I soooooo look forward to sunrise. Not only is it beautiful, the oh so bright oranges through the many dark bare trees but the sun means it might melt some of the snow.

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