summers were
friends earth-brown from picking snow-white clouded fields
daily library visits and a stack of books I can’t quite carry
tackle football with a crowd of cousins in the field beside grandfather’s corn
cane-pole fishing and catching a few more freckles
this summer
reunites friends, passing fields of wind turbines and dust
shares photos of children, grandchildren, and the lost classmates
listens to the creak and whine of bones walking off the time’s weight
reminisces on glories and regrets, richer with a little barbecue and beer
hopes to catch and keep just a patch of youth under a blue quilted sky
——————————————————————————–
for Margo’s Summer Tryouts
Yousei – hope you are feeling better – this is a lovely poem, the summer as brown friends – the friends and the summers both friends – and now the summer a bit more greyed. Lovely. k.
k,
Much better, thank you. Summer is drying everyone out from what I hear. Stay cool and hydrated. Thank you for coming by to read.
I haven’t been hear for a while, but I am glad you are keeping up the excellent writing. I also love the new banner (I guess that might show how long it has been).
Kathy
Kathy,
That is indeed a while, but I’m very happy to have you visit and comment. If you’re interested, I wrote a longer piece in March that I would love for you to read. Whenever you have time and inclination, here is the link: http://tasmith1122.wordpress.com/2012/03/20/rabbit-fairytales/
I didn’t know you were in Texas now. Didn’t you live there before?
Yep. Grew up here. It is good to be back. I know its not true, but it seems like there are more birds (and more vocal birds) here. Probably just not used to them. I’m certain a haiku or two will find it’s way to creation because of them.
No, I think you are probably right about there more birds. I grew up (mostly) in Oklahoma, and am kicking myself for not paying attention to all the wildflowers, birds, and butterflies.
sandy,
I know there are birds up north, even some of the same. I see them. It’s just these songs are unfamiliar (or rather, forgotten) and so frequent. The doves dominate (and are rarely heard over the peepers up north). I hear an occasional hawk and of course my chickens at home. Here there are mockingbirds, gulls, grackles, cowbirds, cardinals, sparrows….more I probably haven’t even noticed. Noisy and fascinating. I’m looking forward to bird watching-listening. You went even further north than I, right? Crazy southerners.
Yousei, those final three lines about age and youth and the quilted sky, so beautiful I almost cried. Thank you for a soulful offering, my friend. Peace, Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.com/2012/07/03/snapshots-of-then-dverse-im-back/
Amy,
Thank you. It is always gratifying to know a bit of writing touched a reader. It’s what keeps us at it, right? I’ll visit soon.
Very good stuff, you ought to know!
Football with crowded cousins…you breath words here.
Lovely!
kolembo,
Thank you for both the visit and the comment. Happy that you liked it.
The wistfulness of this makes me smile. As usual your talent as a poet makes me sit up and notice. I keep thinking of your long poem, Rabbit Tales, and how brilliant you really are. In this work the language is what makes it work so well:
friends earth-brown from picking snow-white clouded fields
and
the creak and whine of bones walking off the time’s weight
Wow!
Thomas Davis,
I’m happy you came by and read. You always encourage me, both here and in your own writing. I’m looking forward to creating more things this summer. Wishing you both the best.
I enjoy the taste of irony in that bones line. I’ve been walking daily since arriving at my sister’s. Creaking and whining are the most common soundtracks to that walk.
stunning words!!! love the last line
i am back after a long break and this is a beautiful “welcome back” read
thanks!
justanotherwakeupcall,
Breaks are necessary. Hope yours was just what you needed and happy you’re back. Thanks for making my post part of your return.
Yousei, I love your whimsical site. Summer poem is relaxed as the season, with a stunner of a last line.
purplepeninportland,
Thanks for stopping in and commenting. I look forward to visiting more often and sharing thoughts and writing.
Thank you. I found a lovely dose of whimsy on your site as well. Aren’t the first and last lines of anything some of the most important words? Isn’t that why we fuss over who started it and who gets the last word?
Me too!
Like Margo, skipping the comments. Unadulterated thoughts.
It’s astonishing how similar these things can be even when separated from time, and how their contrasts don’t serve to make them different at all. The same wistful thread runs through all of it.
Joseph,
I think wistful is the overriding emotion in the piece. Can one be anything else looking thirty years back and facing all the changes and weight of those years in a single day (class reunion)? I guess the only thing I’m curious about is if some of margo’s summer heat appeared in the piece. I felt it (impossible not to when I’m walking in upper 90′s and higher every day), but I thought that might be my memories speaking to me (the current day’s and my youthful years’). Always happy to have you visit and looking forward to catching up on reading at your place.
Unadulterated thoughts…sounds delightful.
I’m going to not read comments first, on the theory everything I want to say has been said! This way my thoughts are fresh to me
.
You have managed that most difficult of things: the form = the content. The way you wrote works to convey what you wrote. I like both very much. The poem feels good in different ways.
margo,
I often do exactly that, avoid all previous comments so I don’t put the brakes on making my own. I appreciate what you said about the poem. I’ve found more writing inspiration in my roots lately. It feels good to craft it successfully. Builds my confidence. You’ve given me a new goal for each writing, to try and make every piece such that form and content are partners. Thanks for the prompt and the feedback.
beautiful!
laura,
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
its like a hand and a gloves perfect fit!!! Cheers Nonoy Manga
Nonoy Manga,
Thank you. Be by to visit soon.
Beautiful capture of those special moments.
And the summer I’d like to have. Damn you hayfever.
skyraftwanderer,
I’m sorry to hear that. My husband has had some problems already this summer too. Clear air and lovely moments to you. Thanks so much for stopping in and leaving a comment.
Oh no.
Love how you’ve captured the reunion so lovely…a most enjoyable poem.
slpmartin,
Welcome. I’m delighted you enjoyed it. I’ve missed reading at your place and promise to be by soon. Stay cool. I’m certainly trying to.
lovely…you capture a bit of the magic of summer…the last 3 or 4 lines are just wonderful and i have similar hopes of my summer as well…smiles….
welcome back…
brian,
So glad you stopped in. Summer is definitely a magical time for so many. Easy to cast a spell when mixing youthful memories with present regrets and hopes. Best wishes on you catching yours.
Nice – simultaneously fun and sadly nostalgic. But I”m sure the (edited) “last thing you need is for someone to tell you what your writing means to him” – from Finding Forrester, sort of..
blancaster99,
What it means to one person is fine. What I meant in my writing, that’s the last thing needed. I’ve seen little danger of that around this rabbit hole. Still, anytime one can sound the bell that rings echoes like “Finding Forrester” is a good day. Glad to have you stop by, my friend.
Thanks, I’m glad I did.
Wow… I love the imagery that you repeat with the clouds and cotton and the catching…also I love that your transition word and topic, summer stands alone and is the connective tissue between the two pieces. Very well written and presented. So thoughtful…much enjoyed this Yousei!! Thank you for the glimpse!
Hannah,
Welcome back. Happy to share it with you. I thought about a trio of sections, but I liked the pairing. The contrast is more obvious (perhaps too obvious) and the connections are stronger. They’re all real and present in my mind now. I have an actual reunion coming up next month. The second part grew from anticipation of that event.
I don’t think it’s too obvious, personally. I really enjoy cyclical poetry. Smiles and good luck with your reunion!!
Hannah, Thanks. I like solid structure too. Looking forward to the reunion. Most of these people I haven’t seen in over 30 years. Many tales to tell that day, I’m positive.
The secondary layer of poetry created by your line breaks is my favorite:
“earth-brown from picking snow”
“a stack of books I”
“passing fields of wind”
Shawna,
I started with line breaks, then shifted to longer but solitary lines, then back to line breaks. You never know until you try, right? So good to be back, reading and writing. Loving so much of what I’ve read at your place too. I’ll have a MM poem for this week’s words…probably tomorrow.
Ah … so your other poetry, that other than Japanese forms, is equally as lovely as what I have been accustomed to reading. I have missed you.
Raven,
Thank you, and I’m glad you like it. It’s still on the shorter side, and each line is a bit like a mini-poem.
I’m so happy to be writing and visiting again. I’ll stop by your place soon.
Hi Yousei, What beautiful imagery. Blessings, Ellen
Ellen,
Thank you. I loved your contributions to the latest Yay Words! collection. Glad you came by.
Thank you!