NaHaiWriMo Day 7

I used this haiku as a starting point for today’s, the prompt being “grief.

Snowy Graves

Snowy Graves (Photo credit: elefanterosado)

bitter cold ankle-deep beside three new graves

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About Yousei Hime

This is the journal of a poetic rabbit. Within the warren you'll find poetry, short stories, essays, art, book and movie reviews, and other odds and ends. If you happen to meet the fey princess, be courteous. This rabbit did and was forever changed.
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20 Responses to NaHaiWriMo Day 7

  1. Thomas Davis says:

    This is really powerful, Yousei, and gets at the heart of what a haiku ought to be.

  2. yelena says:

    your haiku are some of the most evocative i ever read. thanks for sharing :) and a lovely photo to match.

  3. The rhythm here is artful — three sets of stressed-unstressed-unstressed syllables, with “beside” in between a pair of them — strengthening the connection among the elements.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Kathy,
      I wish I could claim the rhythm as art, but I was more in search of words to create my envisioned image than to create a rhythm. However, your comment has definitely given me something to consider, something ignored before now. I suspect we feel these things to an extent rather than plan them, because I sometimes discard phrases and words even though they are perfectly good for the image, discard because something just doesn’t feel/fit right. Happy to have you here. :)

  4. sandy says:

    Good poem and lovely photo.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      sandy,
      Welcome back. Writing daily helps to improve. Wish I could claim the photo, but it’s a WP offering. Fit the writing though, and that was enough for me this time.

  5. sanjuktaa says:

    Lovely, Yousei. The image and the haiku are a perfect match.

  6. hedgewitch says:

    Great personification of the cold in all its forms.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      Mama Zen,
      Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I did visit you, but in trying to read through dVerse posts and catch up on other past posts, I didn’t take time to leave a comment. I really appreciate you doing so. I’ll leave a word or two next time for sure.

  7. lovely one…

    Hello,
    How are you?
    Do you like challenges?
    Share your talent with us by writing for our theme today, or share a random piece of poetry.

    Hope to see you soon!
    Best wishes.
    Cheers.
    Happy Creative Writing,
    xoxox

  8. brian miller says:

    sobering…new graves are def sobering….

    • Yousei Hime says:

      brian,
      It was and still is even two years after the incident. Loss of young lives is never an easy thing. It is something that should always be mourned, I think. Thank you for visiting and sharing this with me.

  9. slpmartin says:

    Excellent haiku for the photo…a fine poem IMHO.

    • Yousei Hime says:

      slpmartin,
      I confess to looking up “IMHO.” I sincerely value your opinion. Both haiku have roots in an accident that took place two years ago, three teens died driving to school on a very icy, snowy morning. Hard to forget something like that when one has driving teenagers. Thank you for sharing it with me.

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